FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Recovery Club

living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

hi @Former-Member, @CheerBear, @Spookytookims, @Former-Member and everyone else

I've had a few ask about what its like living with DID. So I decided to do a new thread. First off for those who dont know there are varying degrees of DID, from just feeling far away or distanced to having distinct alternate personalities or identies. In my case I have distinct alters to the point they have names and one has even been diagnosed with autisim which is rare.

So to make it so people can get a better idea I'm Aj the owner of the body. Then there is Kelly she is around the age of 4. Kelly actually started off as my imaginary friend when i was little then I went through a period of wanting to be the imaginary one due to abuse from someone i trusted. so Kelly is also the Autistic one, she will scream when touched and doesnt talk often sits and watches the clouds. the longest she has been out is 2 weeks. I am not co-consious with any of my alters when they are out i lose time. Kelly will come out usually if i feel scared or insecure and can be hard on my partner when our son wants mummy.

Next is sarah she is around 6 and is the easiest to handle often my partner cant tell she is out til she starts humming somesort of tune (we havent worked out what it is) she is a typical 6 yr old and the best part is my little boy isnt afected by her when shes out he just thinks mummy has taken time to play with him.

Then there is Casey while she comes out very little she needs constant monitoring as she self-harms but she doesnt usually come out unless get real down. thankfully my son has never had to encounter her.

i also have another alter but she is not as distinct as the others.

yes most of my alters a littles or children, i have been told this is because of my age when my childhood abuse started and when significant truma was present.

i was three when my abuse started. i was 22 when i finally cut the cord of emotional abuse my mother used on me. if anyone has questions i am happy to answer them

168 replies

31 - 40 of 168
1...345...17

In response to: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Tonight i battle suicidal thoughts because DID has once again captured my emotions. I am taken out of the picture unable to handle the harm i feel. to stop the danger from attacking me/my/us. And as i'm struggling swaying from looking at ways to ease the pain, and resources to survive i come across this where i am so stregnthend.

Tonight seems that My sways in personality and allowing someone close i have lost my best friend becuase i didn't do so well. the cost i pay for my mental health whilst trying to maintain a job and normal life... what ever normal looks like.

@-Rayne- When you say.... "Those who are reluctant to accept that, for whatever reason, seem less able to appreciate the day to day issues and challenges of sharing a body and without that, trauma work is not useful. That's just our experience though"

That is my life. thats how i fel you have summed it up perfectly finally i find a place where i feel understood and i feel known.

ITs the everyday struggles that come with sharing a body. There is trauma thats how i got here but without the knowledge of the sharing my everythign. sharing the constant thoughts of whats going on and conversations in my head. Thats it... its just is my experiene.

@Neb Thankyou for your honest sharing. Just working out the sit but thankyou soo much!!!

In response to: Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Hi @mudsum sorry I haven't logged into email for a few days to see the notifications from this thread. I'm glad you found us. How are things now... with yourselves and with your friend?

We maintain a job/career too so I can definitely relate to what you say there. I think a lot of the time we maintain it at the expense of other things because we can't do everything it takes a lot but it gives a lot too, so hopefully it's worth it. Hard to tell sometimes.

Keep posting 🙂

In response to: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Hi @sketa I don't know where you're located but have you looked for a community legal centre. They virtually all do family law where there are kids involved and most regional centres have one. You shouldn't have to go to court alone.

In response to: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

HI briar,
my ex and his sneekie solicitor told the court that it was so urgent that she's so at risk that the court date was set 18 days later which gives me no time for legal aid to approve me so I have found a solicitor and an nearly there at raising the 10 grand retainer, so later on down the track when I'm selling everything at least I know I did all I could.

NOW my new problem, how do I stop being so defensive to everyone? I have an alter we call her JD due to her mainly coming out when drinking or for a fight, but because of the way the rest are feeling emotionally so is put to protect us to everyone and is starting to push people away?

In response to: Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

how are you going @sketa @Former-Member@-Rayne-@mudsum@Neb

In response to: Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

JD@outlander normal up and down here. How are you doing?

@sketa I'm sorry you had to pay so much but you should at least get decent representation for that, which is good. (We're a lawyer - not in family law but roughly get the pay scale). We're not sure I know how to avoid JD helping out. He/she/they sounds protective so for as long as they feel you need them, they'll be there. I guess if you think you don't need protecting you can try to explain that, explain why you're OK and how you're going to manage the situation... maybe explain how this is different to times in the past when you needed their help. Anyone else have ideas?

In response to: Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

im ok just dealing with a heap of crap at the moment @-Rayne-

In response to: Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

what does dealing with a heap of crap mean?

i'm doing much better. So glad that last swing is over. Had a massive cuddle with someone and that always shifts so much off me.@outlander

In response to: Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

@mudsum a heap of crap means

bullies, unsupportive family, no friends- turned into bullies, MI- i have 5 of them, being a primary carer for 2 younger sisters and my pop, stressing about finances, trying not to go back to plans of SH and SI, dealing with the unsupportive family that i can never seem to please and am always getting into trouble and physical health issues

In response to: Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

@outlander wow you carry alot of hats and have to balance alot of roles right there!!! well done. you are showing alot of strength carrying all those things. We don't carry them perfectly but sounds like you are giving alot to everyone.

hope you find somethign you can do for yourself too.

xoxox

31 - 40 of 168
1...345...17