living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

@Former-Member We have people who have harmed our body before. Some think they or we need to be punished, others think it will make us feel better or make us safer. When they're near me, I feel some of their emotion which is entirely negative and almost overwhelming to me. None of them/us are the devil though.

I don't know if this fits for you - that's not for me to say. But if you want to, I can't see any harm in asking the one who wants to hurt you, who they are and why they want to do that.

Peace ~

Hi guys, interesting reading your replies. I'm working with a great social worker as everyone else gave up. She's an angel and that's putting it mildly. It's important as you have said, to be with people who accept all of us, God knows it's hellish enough without external voices as well as the internal pushing us around. I haven't met anyone else in person to talk to regarding this illness, as in friend I mean. I hope you don't mind me joining in here. It's only recently I've found my voice.

Hey @Maggie, I totally agree about acceptance of plurality trumping, well, basically everything. Our last therapist had never had a DID client before us but she was the best! I'm gradually coming to the view that we have the resources inside that we need to heal - we just need external allies to support us as we access them.

@-Rayne- Hi there, yes, if only more people understood the difficulties as well as the ability to live as we do. I have recently needed to look for a new GP....the one we have seen twice seems afraid, little does she seem to understand our fears of rejection we face in these situations. It's a difficult life, not chosen by us. We have recently connected with another member, more trauma and memories as well as progress. We're struck down in a deep depression right now, where more time is spent in bed than out. Thank you for listening.

Popped in to see if I can add my little bit to the conversation. Firstly, I have DID which was misadiagnosed for a decade ( I think) but eventually ended up with a chap who specialised in the disorder and was fortunate enough to live in a city which had a dedicated unit for when acute.

I NEVER thought my life could approximate normalness but here I am. I celebrated (mourned) my 58 birthday on Tuesday, by golly I never thought I would get here. The amnesia/fugue state thing aint pretty eh. I have some rather largish gaps in the memory. I am fortunate in enjoying embroidery,knitting and the like. Even when really "bad" I was able to stitch and so I have some framed pieces which I call "1985" and "1990" as that is what is there of those years. I feel so much of my life has been wasted in illness but having those tangible evidences is soothing for me. I was an involuntary patient during those years.

Getting better for me was having a professional where I could build a theraputic relationship with, trust etc which takes a LONG time.....then I talked and talked and talked. He listened and was able to get to a point of intergation with me and the "others". This is not the only path to recovery but it was the best one for me. It could fall apart under stress (like at work), and I ultimately retired early due to that. I felt my work was very central to who I was , but have since realised any worth is from the inside of one not what one does.

I cut the umbilical cord to my therapist when I moved from my home city to over the ditch into New Zealand. This was a massive thing to do, but I have a life here....it is insignificant in so many ways but I have a contentedness and happiness I treasure more than any physical thing.

I hope all of those who have DID can look back in time and say "yes, that was me too....."

hi @Neb, thankyou for sharing and i to hope to get to a point like that one day but it seems so far off

hi @sketa, yes i am medicated but for anxiety not DID, and while i cant imagine what your going through with your custody battle i completely understand people judging my behaviour when a switch and have feared losing my son because someone might think i am not safe for him. medication at the start can be troblesome for a few as sometimes its trial and error till they find the right one. i had this trouble as any meds that came with side effects that disrupted my ability to care for my son i stopped taking

Wow. Neb, i so needed to hear that.

Was on the verge of suicide tonight after so much. It looks as though i've lost my best friend becuase i can not maintain a straight face and its too hard for friends to understand me. I am feeling lost and never feels like i'll live without therapy. So hearing your story is so strengthing. Printing it and putting it on my wall to remind me life exsists.

thankyou