living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Thankyou @-Rayne-, there are only 5 of us or well more like 4 and a half as the 5 isnt quite distinct and we are always co conscious when that particular one is out unlike the other where i lose time and have no memory of what happened while they were out

hi @Spookytookims all good i dont mind questions so dont feel the need to hold back i will let people know when i dont feel up to answering questions and i always have someone watching or close by so when i switch they will turn the internet off so i dont think it is likely for them to be able to post and as i have no control over when switches happen it would be hard to set up for something like that to happen but yes it would be child like and probably a lot of mistakes

just a quick note for those who may be wondering co consious for me is like looking at the world through someone elses eye being completly aware of whats happening but with know control of your actions. while with the more distinct ones its like beind consiously asleep but you know that you were not asleep

@-Rayne-, how did you know you had DID?
How did you know you had others of you? What are your symptoms of DID?
If you don't mind me asking?
I'm just so confused at what is happening to me. I seem to dissociate when discussing emotional stuff and I have gaps in my memory often. And no one will tell me what happens when I do. In fact there's a whole lot of not telling me stuff going on at the moment.

hi @Former-Member, if you dont mind my asking but are you seeing a psychologist or doctor about this i know it may be daunting but you need to tell someone so you can a proper diagnosis done

ok @Former-Member, but i had to go to a psychiatrist to get my DID diagnoses

Hi @Former-Member

I'm happy to answer questions. I was first diagnosed about 15 years ago. A little earlier than that, my kids were young and I noticed that I was forgetting to feed them sometimes and at other times they'd complain that I'd already given them dinner and was trying to do it again. That's when I first noticed my memory was more than ordinary forgetfulness, and worried about it.

I went to a GP who referred me to a psychiatrist who said I was dissociative and started trying to help me with that. About a year or so later, some others (two children and a teen) started talking to my partner. He told me and my psych and that eventually led to the teen speaking to the psych and I got a MPD/DID diagnosis.

Diagnosis-wise things have been messy for us because we have one front person who dissociates her diagnosis, for trauma-related reasons, which has meant she learns about us and then promptly forgets and she's caused us to be re-diagosed 3 times. (This is a side issue but I'm mentioning it because she has occaionally posted here in the past and I'm not sure what she's said. It would be less confusing for readers if we posted under our own names but that doesn't feel safe for us).

Back to your question. Now our symptoms would be: (1) memory gaps - almost all of us don't remember what goes on out here when we're not here; and (2) almost all of us are now somewhat aware of being one of many. We either hear others when we're out front or we see/hear them when we're not. There are still two of us who have no memory or awareness of the others. The rest of us carry them, care for them and benefit from their gifts. Some individual people (alters but we don't use that term) have other symptoms. That's after 15-odd years of working on internal communication, accommodation and understanding though. Before that, only two of us knew we were not alone.

I'm happy to share things that have helped us increase communication but I've not been on sane much lately, so I don't know what kind of supports you have in place. Do you feel safe looking into this now?

Hi @-Rayne-,

Thank you so much for your response.

I'm in an okay place at the moment - seeing a therapist and got a good psych and gp, a few really good friends both on here and in real life, so I'd say I'm pretty solid and safe atm.

I'd be really interested at what you've done to communicate between yourselves and how you became aware of them?

Hi, I'm DID, good to talk with others. I have no childhood memories, but bits and pieces shared by my inner family.

Sorry for my slow replying. @mandy84 I do think there's a reluctance to diagnose it among some professionals. I'm not entirely sure why, other than that they've been taught that it's rare and therefore second guess what they're seeing. Does it matter? I think it does, yeah. Just my opinion but the best and most effective therapy that we've had (in terms of improving our functionality) has been with people who fully understand our separateness and don't try to minimise it. Those who are reluctant to accept that, for whatever reason, seem less able to appreciate the day to day issues and challenges of sharing a body and without that, trauma work is not useful. That's just our experience though - others might have different views.

@Former-Member early on we started writing down what we did, to try deal with memory gaps, and that morphed over time into a notice board for things like, "fed the cat at 6pm" and "its not fair that we never have any lollies" and a journal for longer and more signficant things that we want to say to each other. The journal was/is important for our fronting people who tend to find it hard to hear the others. All but one of us now hears at least some of the others, some of the time. Listening is important... not pushing the voices away or thinking you're imagining them, just being open to what you hear like you would be if anyone you care about spoke to you. And remembering that even if they say things that seem alarming, they're not bad (and neither are you). Honouring them.

A post by many of us 🙂

Hi @Maggie, I think we've met here before but ages ago.. How have you been?