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Something’s not right

Not coping with life - may trigger

Not coping with life - may trigger

I've noticed my mood and outlook on life lately dip a bit (I've largely hidden it from everyone though). Today I just woke up and wished I wasn't here anymore. I went to therapy and cried my eyes out openly, something I don't normally do. Tonight I am getting by with having a couple of stiff drinks (don't worry I never have more than a couple, I learned my lesson a few years ago with regards to drinking too much. I just feel so confused. It is hard to put a finger on why (I guess there's lots of reasons really).

I am losing sight of ever living my dream... Having a great job in the field of mental health, having my own home and a loving family to support me. Just typing those words made me realise how impossible that dream is. Instead I am just a lowly pensioner who keeps having breakdown after breakdown and letting life pass me by. I just don't know what I am supposed to do anymore! It is just so frustrating! I am so angry at myself to let all I had in my previous life (before MI) slip through my fingers.

I just am not coping with anything at the moment. I pretend to be 'happy' in order to try and feel happy (that old fake it til you make it adage). I am just super stressed out. I am supposed to have the best day in my life coming up in a few months, but to be honest I couldn't give a rats about it deep down. Yes, I love my gf and yes I want to spend the rest of my life with her, but it all just seems too hard. I just want to go to bed and hide (or worse).

Sorry this is such a ramble, I don't mean it to be. I've had racing thoughts all day. I tried doing a mindfulness meditation but couldn't for longer than a minute without opening my eyes and being distracted. I guess what triggered me the most was my lack of a relationship with my father. When I was a little girl, he used to love my company and would spend many hours reading to me and spending time with me. Now he seems allergic to my presence. I rarely hear from him and only see twice per year (if that). He is the only family I have, but he is only seemingly interested in his new family (my stepmother and her child and grandkids). He even said to me he wished I was never born to my face. That remark still stings today, years after he said it. It just breaks my heart.

I guess I should stop rambling and hit 'post' before my life story becomes too recognisable and people who are on this forum that I know in RL might recognise me.

Cest le vie.

85 replies

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In response to: Not coping with life - may trigger

Re: Not coping with life - may trigger

Woopsie there @Queenie. Fumble fingers got me! Should be 💕💚💕

In response to: Not coping with life - may trigger

Re: Not coping with life - may trigger

@Queenie. Boy that gp stuffed up big time. I hope he's on call to take any calls from you over the long weekend. I hope the side effects wear off quickly.
A good cry and snuggle down under your blankets for a rest/sleep.
I hope you wake up tmw to find easter eggs at the end of your bed.

In response to: Re: Not coping with life - may trigger

Re: Not coping with life - may trigger

And so I never heard from my family over Easter, even though I know they had a get together at my Dad's place. I wish I knew why my family hates me so much. I wish I knew what the heck I did to make them hate me so much. All the lies, all the secrecy, all the emotional abuse and neglect in adolescence and it continues into adulthood. Why Why Why?

@Queenie hates herself so much! I look at pictures and comments on social media from my friends and they are full of happy family moments... I have none of that. I just wish I knew what it was that I did so I could at least be given the opportunity to apologise.

In response to: Re: Not coping with life - may trigger

Re: Not coping with life - may trigger

😞 It's all I can think about today. I can't unhook from the thoughts. I'm really not coping at all today.

Why do they all hate me? Every time I read the above post I cry heartbroken tears. I wish my mother was still alive, she'd never be so cruel to me.

In response to: Re: Not coping with life - may trigger

Re: Not coping with life - may trigger

Hugs @Queenie,
that's always hard, i had a very quiet weekend too... avoiding fb with all its happy family photos and happiness. Here with you,
lj

In response to: Re: Not coping with life - may trigger

Re: Not coping with life - may trigger

@Queenie .... sometimes even the Queen's just gotsta say "F#%k em" I'm sure she's said it to Phillip a few times (just quietly.)

In response to: Not coping with life - may trigger

Re: Not coping with life - may trigger

I miss my mum too.
When I was little I got stung by a bee, on the head. It caused my eyes to swell shut. I could not see. I must have panicked a little. I remember my mum. She stroked my forehead and told me to 'shush'.
Now as an adult when I get real bad panic attacks I can calm myself. Her love for me doesn't stop just cause she is not here now.
Your mum loved you. Remember that.
Stay safe.
Hugs and love @Queenie

In response to: Re: Not coping with life - may trigger

Re: Not coping with life - may trigger

My mother was never cruel but I am not sure she wanted me either. When she was pregnant with me, she wanted an abortion but my Dad talked her out of it. A lot of people blame me for my mother's death (although at 11 years old at the time, it was a tough thing to bear). It's a long story but basically because my mother did not have an abortion, it effected her health gravely and shortened her life drastically. My family has never let me forget that and probably never will.

When I was younger and my Mother was still alive, my Dad used to adore me. When she died and Dad married my mother's sister, he changed a lot. I was emotionally abused by my stepmother and her family, often they would tell me to suicide and would tease me whenever my Dad was not around. I tried to tell him how bad things were and I was referred to child youth mental health, but the psychologist there broke confidentiality and told my parents everything I said and that made the abuse worse. So much so I stopped going to the service because I couldn't take it anymore.

As soon as I finished year 12 I was asked to leave the family home and was made sure I was not welcomed back for any reason.

So much water under the burnt bridges. Now they are all washed away.

In response to: Not coping with life - may trigger

Re: Not coping with life - may trigger

😞 that wasn't right, you didn't deserve to b treated like that. It wasn't your fault they were and still are wrong. You have been through a lot, perhaps you are better off without them. I grieve in a way for the idea of a loving family that I never had but not so much for the actual family members.. I think..
Lj

In response to: Not coping with life - may trigger

Re: Not coping with life - may trigger

Oh. @Queenie.
If it's a bridge to pain, let it wash away.
My mum wasn't being cruel. She was comforting me.
I try real hard to hang on any comforting experience.
They are the bridges that are worth preserving.

Your story touched me. Sorry life has been so rough.
Warm wishes
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