Tooky History: Clipart but potentially triggering

@Former-Member - I'm hearing you with my head but my heart is telling me that we shared some amazing times together. The highs were off the scale but then so were the lows at the other end. I would have settled for just average because even then, life would have been sweet. Unfortunately that wasn't an option.

Its a miracle that I am alive. So many times he said I was going to die and just as many I wished I had. Afterwards, he would claim that he didn't mean any of those horrific things he said and did and that he had "lost his mind"

yep... @Former-Member

Ditto @soul you think I stayed cos it was bad? you think I almost gave my life trying to get back the good because it was always bad? oh noooooo his mask was soo good... my story is so like yours. So like yours. You HAVE to separate it.. and until you do... you won't move on.. that too took me so long.. I mean SO long to accept. I always wanted that good back.. because the good was SO good. but you know what? That good nearly cost me my santity and my life, so that good was an illusion. It wasn't real. and that is probably why it was so good, because it was actually fake and shallow and frankly.. utter bullshiiiiite

I'm mourning the loss of my best friend but he was also someone I feared.

ok @soul what you are mourning is the death of an illusion. You know how I know? Because I had to do exactly the same thing. and it took me such a very long long long long long time to accept that. but once I did.. another bunch of babushka dolls lay open on the floor.

@Former-Member - I need to copy your posts and read them every day. I had been so isolated from my family and friends. We had moved overseas. I had no one to confide in. I was living in an environment where there was no help. I'm back in Australia now but no one save one close friend knows what I have endured and even then not the full extent.

@Former-Member and you know what... that's why I hate the label.. because what does it say? That you need to be a robot, have an emotional labotomy once you get the label? or else.. oh well "that's her BPD" what a stupid diagnosis it is... on every level. They don't know what they are doing with it.. and it only went into the DSM in the 90s anyhow.. and that was with very little research into it and no official designation.. I think hence the stupid name.. borderline.... pfffffftttt is all I can say to that!

Thanks @Former-Member. Hope our convo wasn't too confronting. I appreciate your input.

@Former-Member the point is.. the diagnosis is BULLSHIIITE so try to forget some person... cos it was just a person... a human like you and me... who threw it around.... you aren't that. You are so much NOT that.... nobody has the right to label you with anything you don't want to be labelled with because that invalidates you. Do you understand what I'm saying.. just as much as I feel invalidated when I am not believed he was devious and namipulative.... you should not have to be labelled something you don't want to be and you need to stand up and say NO! I'm not that and don't you dare call me that if I don't want to be called that. That's ALL wrong!