Tooky History: Clipart but potentially triggering

Oh Tooky - what a great way of sharing your story.

❤️

Wow @Former-Member, this is amazing. It totally makes sense. Thanks for sharing this.

Thank you @CherryBomb and @Former-Member . I am glad it makes sense. Thanks heaps.

It tells your story so graphically we feel it .. more than words often convey.

Thanks for trusting us. Yes to the Rebuild.

Thanks so much @Appleblossom , and Yes to the rebuild 🙂 most definitely 😄

@Former-MemberI'm glad it "speaks" to you, if "glad" is the right word with something like this, but you know what I mean. ❣️

@BlueBay A simple drawing program (I used the free downloadable Open Office - Drawing) and Mr Google images well get you through it 🙂

I thought I would have a go at this myself and have been playing around with cliparts for the last half hour but finding it very hard. It's hard to find the 'right' picture and it's bringing up some tough feelings. I thought it would have been easier than writing, but maybe the visual element adds to the intensity. Or maybe it's just not the right time for me.

Can I ask please @Former-Member - how long did this take you to do and did you find it difficult (in terms of both picking a picture and feeling the feels)? Also, where do you think you are in terms of recovery and rebuilding, and how long has it taken you to get here/there? Please don't feel you need to answer anything - it's just that your story and the way it's been presented really resonates with me.

@Former-Member Great questions! I mean really great questions!

First off the easy one... I did it pretty much all day Monday.

Yes it was hard finding the right pics. There was lots of "junk" and it was very hard to find the right ones especially for some reason, the ones related to the antagonist. The perpetrator. That took me a very long time to get the "feel" right.

I too thought it was going to be a fun little thing to do, but it turned out to be very emotional, to the end that I found it very hard to post it in the forum in case nobody understood it and it became very close to me because it represents a horrible phase in my life. I was in tears in a lot of it. Particularly the mid section, quite a few times I had to walk away, walk outside and "regroup". It was very much that way, yes.

I was in that middle section for years and years... and years, mainly because I was tormented by the antagonist from afar. Then I finally took one very important thing seriously, and as my story portrays.. I said.. enough! I'm going to find out wtf is going on...

Then the last phase.. the rebuild started.. then to now is probably about 2 years. At first opening my russian dolls was a slow process, like they would never end. Just more stuff and more stuff and more stuff as I processed things. But then... it all speeded up. The last 4 or 5 months hss been like the fog just started lifting in chunks rather than dissipating slowly in a gentle breeze. I guess I had to get to a certain stage before all the veils just started falling at once, if you forgive the metaphors.

In terms of recorvery now.. I think... I am about 80% at least, I'd like to say more, but I still have bad times, and still unexpected things can trigger me and I have to use my "replacement" thoughts and talk those bad things out of my head to "reprogram". But these days usually, I can talk myself out of those either while they happen in the first 15 mins or at worst a couple hours. But I emphasise usually because there are some, but very few exceptions that still do seem to last longer. Although I haven't had one of those for about 2 months now, which is my longest ever since the "fractured moment" sent me spinning into the abyss.

I hope that answers you. If it doesn't, feel free to ask anything else you want to. If I can't answer I will tell you, most things I have processed so pretty much anything should be ok.