Tooky History: Clipart but potentially triggering

@Former-Memberwrote: "My problems with BPD are many @Tookyspookims. The fact it exists in the first place is a good start. The idea that people with BPD are trying to manipulate or control others - there's another one. Overlooking the trauma history behind so many people diagnosed with BPD is another one again."

You know if some psych tried to label me BPD, I swear they would never label another person BPD because I would spend every session methodically going through why I wasn't BPD, why I thought the diagnosis was a lazy crock of shiiite... and why I think the whole diagnosis should be struck off the DSM because it only does more harm than good to everyone. Those diagnosed and those around the person labelled with it.

I am stuck with so much grief and guilt and shame. I keep wondering if there was something I could have/should have done differently.

Not to mention fear. I startle so easily and can't watch anything depicting violence.

I feel stupid for thinking he would change and kept going back. He was very convincing.

ok @soul I am going to tell you this.. and you need to think about it until you accept it. and that could take a very long time or it might not... but let me tell you.. from someone who thought that for 12 years and tried EVERYTHING humanly possible and more... let me tell you this and you need to believe it...

There is nothing, nothing, nothing you could have done that would have changed it. It was get out or stay in that cycle of hell forever. I know.. because I did that.. and I know.. I was stuck in tht cycle and I know if I had not ended it it would have continued for as long as I stayed. You have to accept that before you can move on, you HAVE to accept that TO move on... and you HAVE to stop thinking you could have done something.... you could NOT have done anything.. that was up to him, only HE could have changed it and it sounds like he, like mine. had no real intention of changing a thing while you and I enabled them.

They won't change, and we can't change them. Simple. Yeah simple right.. no it's not simple.. but you HAVE to know that.. somehow, like me.. you have to accept it or you will be stuck where you are forever and he will win. and no damn way you want him do win, I know... because there is no damn way I want "my" him toi win... he caused me enough pain.. and I'm not letting him cause me anymore. His problems are his problems and I refuse to make them my problems any longer. I devoted almost every waking moment to his damn problems for over a decade... that is more than I should have. I should have walker about 6 months after meeting him when he first started is cr@pola!

Are you listening to me? LOL cos.. girlll I'm waving my damn finger at you like you wouldn't believe here! 😛

DITTO!!!!! @soul and you know what.. after I reasearched and fully accepted the why and it geled with my instincts of what I'd known but didn't want to accept so it was too crazy and ridiculous.... the next lot of those Babushka dolls went to forgiving myself for being "stupid for thinking he would change and kept going back. He was very convincing."

I kid you not. those were EXACTLY my words.. and you just said them.