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Tooky History: Clipart but potentially triggering

Unknown userMember

Tooky History: Clipart but potentially triggering

This is a little project I did earlier this week, inspired by @Faith-and-Hope on one of the art threads, also @Appleblossom and Sherry, and some others on the Carers side.

The story "reads" left to right line by line as you would a book.

Some will "get it" some probably won't but nonetheless, it depicts my "black hole" story and everything in it is chosen or placed deliberately. It's supposed to be a side by side trilogy but in this format it's the three sequential pages so the pics in the collage can be seen.

It's a little scary posting it because it means something to me but well here it is anyhow.

279 replies

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In response to: Tooky History: Clipart but potentially triggering

soulSenior Contributor

Re: Tooky History: Clipart but potentially triggering

@Former-Member - can the abuse ever be excused? Borderlines get anxious. I get that. They have difficulties with anger. But have they no control when it comes to lashing out? Is the fact that they don't retaliate to behaviour they find offensive out in public an indication that they are manipulative with regards to their intimate partner?

In response to: Tooky History: Clipart but potentially triggering

Unknown userMember

Re: Tooky History: Clipart but potentially triggering

Ditto for me re: the why @soul.

The only thing i can say here is that behind a perpetrator of IPV/DV's behaviour is their own need for power and control. Those two words. Their choice. Their own stuff. Not yours. Not anything you did. No justification for it.

Also, because this is potentially a big time triggering thing, please @Former-Member and @soul know I want to know if anything I say doesn't sit right with you both, or feels wrong.

In response to: Tooky History: Clipart but potentially triggering

Unknown userMember

Re: Tooky History: Clipart but potentially triggering

@soul wrote:

@Tookyspookims - I keep wanting to know why? I don't think I will ever get an answer. I consider myself to be an intelligent person. I used to be independent and strong. I have zero confidence now.

Ditto. Me. That's ME! But if you search, if you look, the knowledge you have within you and the knowledge you can find if you look... you CAN and WILL get the why. Just it will never come from him. You need to accept he will (if he is like mine) NEVER give you a why. HE will probably just keep saying something like "I don't know" or something equally evasive. Does that ring any bells? Those words or that behaviour?

In response to: Re: Tooky History: Clipart but potentially triggering

Unknown userMember

Re: Tooky History: Clipart but potentially triggering

The ONLY thing that irritates me is invalidation.. the rest I can deal with @Former-Member because I want to learn... but what is your problem with it... cos we are saying what ours is but what about you? please?

In response to: Re: Tooky History: Clipart but potentially triggering

soulSenior Contributor

Re: Tooky History: Clipart but potentially triggering

@Former-Member - how did you do it? I am a complete mess tonight. I am just finishing off a bottle of wine. Probably not the best way to self medicate but I'm finding it hard to keep it together.

In response to: Tooky History: Clipart but potentially triggering

Unknown userMember

Re: Tooky History: Clipart but potentially triggering

No @soul, i really don't think there is ever an excuse for abuse. From what I know, it's a very harmful misbelief that mental illness is commonly a reason for IPV. It's harmful for people with MI and harmful for people experiencing abuse. If someone can keep their stuff in check in public but not behind closed doors, that's big time warning bells.

In response to: Re: Tooky History: Clipart but potentially triggering

Unknown userMember

Re: Tooky History: Clipart but potentially triggering

@soul Teej gave us that answer the other night. Remember? and she is righ and you know it.

In response to: Tooky History: Clipart but potentially triggering

Unknown userMember

Re: Tooky History: Clipart but potentially triggering

My problems with BPD are many @Former-Member. The fact it exists in the first place is a good start. The idea that people with BPD are trying to manipulate or control others - there's another one. Overlooking the trauma history behind so many people diagnosed with BPD is another one again.

For me personally @Former-Member - it was that diagnosis being given to explain and treat the symptoms of abuse (and history of trauma) guided by the abuser. That's a pretty significant reason.

In response to: Re: Tooky History: Clipart but potentially triggering

soulSenior Contributor

Re: Tooky History: Clipart but potentially triggering

Does being abused as a child excuse a borderline from abusing someone else? He told me what happened to him and systematically he did the same to me.

In response to: Re: Tooky History: Clipart but potentially triggering

Unknown userMember

Re: Tooky History: Clipart but potentially triggering

@soul I have spent a very long time getting here. There were times when I thought it was hopeless, that I was stuck forever... but there were a few important things I had to accept before I began getting to where I am now.... and the first was something like what @Former-Member said to us the other day in that thread....

Remember her words:

Re: Frank Discussion of BPD: *WARNING* May be confronting[ Edited ]

23 Mar 2017 08:40 PM - edited 23 Mar 2017 08:52 PM Teej wrote:

You know @soul @Tookyspookims BPD or not there is never an excuse for violence or abuse. You can't constantly abuse someone and then blame it on MI and take no responsibility for your actions. There has to be changes made and real work done to change, definitely no lip service or blaming others for your actions.

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