I want to survive this and hear from other survivors like me

True @Former-Member . These should'ves, could'ves and would'ves can be such a hinderance sometimes. I feel it pulls me back.

I did a personality test today, and I was thinking how much I have learnt over the years to be who I am today. That is, it is not naturally my personality, but I've seen my flaws and I've been able to work with them to achieve the goals I want.

We're with you on your journey. We can't fix things, but we can help you feel less alone.

Thank you for being you. 🙂

@tyme that's great that you're recovered and healed and have the life you want. I just wander then if you are not a peer worker now, and more a clinician or healer? Either way, the struggle continues for a lot of us ... our lives and recovery is ongoing.

@tyme also just as i was clear in the topic what i'm looking for - to survive and speak to survivors - to be clearer - those who are working through trauma and identify that way - thanks

I used to do public transport to and from work for years and thought nothing of it, sometimes having to catch multiple trains to get from point a to point b. Couple things happened in 2006 that saw my panic attacks start again. Now a days start getting anxious just thinking of catching trains.
one of variety of things I’m remembering I said I wanted help with and nothing happened.

Few days after seeing my psychologist I usually take time out and think back over things that were talked about, making notes to follow up at next time, where applicable.

few weeks ago I had radiofrency ablation in lower back due to severe OA. Dr at pain management clinic this afternoon eased my concerns and advised benefit I’m feeling is a positive, pain I was concerned about is normal and may decreased over time. Such a relief.

I’ve had some hiccups with couple people on the forums which hasn’t ended well. Some PSW’s plus Tyme are aware. Apart from those couple everyone else I’ve spoke with has/is good to talk with, understanding etc.

thanks @Former-Member i used to do that a lot with my therapsist as well. i think it shows good work on ur part - taking notes and reflecting around the sessions.
I feel unsafe on the forums after soeone pressured me to join a particular service and it left me very vulnerable. i felt they didn't see me and my suffering at all, and were sort of putting me in as the same as them, even though my case was different. it can be so lonely for me as i don't express emotion very well and vulnerability, but i was in crises at the time and considering not being here. I tried to seek help and i felt like rather than hold it and refer me to my team there was sort of pushing me around. I felt so silly and such self loathing that i fell into another trap on this forum. I don't feel protected here. That's why i tried to make this post for all of us who feel we are survivors - i don't like heirachies and i don't like ppl trying to "fix" each other. We are all struggliing and thats what makes us safe here, that we are in the same boat.

Results from personality tests can be interesting and insightful at times @tyme

ones that advertise as being free and then turn out involve a cost annoy me.

Info from pain management Dr today at post procedure review, reduction in pain by at least 30% classifies the procedure successful. I estimate I’ve got up to 50% reduction in pain most days now
she mentioned I’ve started increasing my walking too much too quickly, this being linked to some of my pain. Waiting to talk with her post infusion treatment about doing chair yoga at home to help with joint flexibility and muscle strength

@Former-Member that sounds interesting with the chair yoga - you sound motivated and active. i love it.
I just called the triage as being sick at home has upset me and i can't function while waiting to hear about the case management (i'm referred and wanting to get in soon for mental health help).

I found some left over medicine from the hospital and i called to ask if i could take one - they said its fine and i took one. I will go to sleep soon probably as i feel so out of whack.

I need a doctor - a psychiatrist - i feel - i need someone who can take accountability for my mental health

@EternalFlower parts of what you mentioned comes close to home for me. People only see my facade, the smile that stops people asking if I’m ok. I struggle with displaying emotions. Need to feel 150% safe to be able to cry. Struggle being open with anyone my brain perceives as in authority. Reached out for help once, my thoughts were scaring me too much. Was told by MH triage due to me have 2 MH supports already in place there was nothing they could do.

I mainly talk with small number of people on the forums. Has been times I’ve thought of leaving the forums.

@Former-Member !! thank u for sharing. this is what is happening to me. The triage has been saying i should get an NDIS worker to support me - so i'm okay. They tell me that as I have the NDIS i am settled. This has failed and led to two unfortunate events where i wasn't safe. They are not doing their job.

I don't like to hear that they said that to u. I have always been whinging on to anyone who will listen taht it doens't really matter what support you have - if you have NDIS they'll use that. If you have a family member who can show up and assist, they'll reference them. They will use your protective factors as a sign you are ok, as they try to churn ppl out. I really hope they do accept me for their care. I need a psychiatrist and I need to get in to Spectrum, so I need them.

I hope they will accept me, but they say the same things to me, mostly about how I'm so happy with my GP and also how I have the NDIS. I did expalin to them in detail that the NDIS is very fragmented and unreliable.

The workers come at times that suit them, and try negotiate it things all around them. I don't think tey really care much, and have learnt to accept that. it is good to u can find ur small tribe on the forums. I don't know everyone either but I see a few ppl commenting to discuss shared struggles and sense ppl who are curious and trying their best - and i love these open souls. There are some sweet ppl. It is hard for me also when ppl leave 😞 i miss them.

Hi @EternalFlower

I can hear that it's been a difficult time for you where you've been upset and finding it hard to function. It's great you were able to reach out for support to the hospital/triage to check about medications etc. I can also hear that you know what you need - which is helpful in being able to advocate for yourself 🌟

@Former-Member I can hear you've had some similar experiences to EternalFlower and struggle with displaying emotions and being open. It's good you've been able to stay connected here on the forums 🌿

Is there any particular type of support you'd find helpful from the Community tonight?

TunedIn 🦋