I want to survive this and hear from other survivors like me

I can relate. @EternalFlower

These last couple of years have been incredibly hard for me too. Actually, life itself has been incredibly challenging. And I can relate to feeling like you're afraid of the world and as if you've been let down by it. It's a tough place to be in. But if it helps, you're not alone there.

Finding the right supports that are consistent and present is hard. But I think, no one can reach down and take your hand...if you're not reaching out for them. So, I commend you for reaching out here and for still trying to put one foot in front of the other.

hi @NightFury i learnt that along the way as well - it really has to come from me - and i do believe there is a place for clinical or peer support but if you are a survivor and are in crises there are times for me, when i was just so vulnerable and i found myself around people who weren't right for me.

I like your beautiful metaphor about reaching out for someone's hand 🙂 @TAB @Appleblossom @Eden1919 @Shaz51 @Dimity

@EternalFlower I too stumble along trying to take small steps, sometimes seeing people on similar paths. It's hard sometimes to see the offered hand. It's not always someone in front of us. Sometimes it's someone alongside, or lagging, but we can help each other along.

Today I'm fretting about someone I've let down.

Hi @EternalFlower ,

I agree with the cheerleading comment about mental support work. Brushing over the reality and the side effects of medication.

Also wanted to say how rich you are to have three really good friends plus an amazing support worker!

@EternalFlower I can relate to a lot.

events of the last couple years have left me feeling it’s me against the world with almost no one in my corner.

I have reached out my hand to X number of people, majority of which have turned their back on me.

I admire you for your inner strength and to continue trying.

atm I don’t have any inner drive left to try again.

I’m thankful for one special lady who is my only friend

hi @Former-Member one of the kindest responses i've ever read and i just want to shout you out for your empathy - thank u so much. means the world to me. i'm sorry you had that happen also. i'm so grateful you have one good friend. I feel it helps a lot to have someone you can trust - more than large numbers of ppl, the quality of the relationship is crucial. nice to see u here

hi @Dimity i'd be honoured to listen if you wanna share regarding the person you feel you may have let down. its a pretty common feeling 😞

I love your description. The first person who offered that hand to me was a paramedic. I will never forget him. He cared so much. 1 week after my experience with a SA i felt so much anxiety rising in me in called the paramedics and he did all the checks so gently. I wrotet a thank u letter to the paramedics via ambulance victoria. I wish i had better words for the kindness he performed for me, and it how it uplifted you. It is often someone you least expect, when u are at your lowest, and then the hand comes. Not sure if you relate?

@EternalFlower Read your post and knew I had to reach out to you.

my MIL used to say, better to have only one honest true friend that hundreds of people who claim to be friends but only in it for themselves and don’t care about you

@Former-Member @Realness @Dimity @NightFury it is hard to realise that having trauma gives you a vulnerability to more trauma - the only way sometimes is to be tough, have boundaries and say "no"

and yett when i was traumatised i was fawning and telling ppl how amazing they were at helping me just so they wouldn't leave

they weren't helping me at all 😞 they used me

but this is how it went 😞

@EternalFlower I don't know which to say first, a horrible experience or the kindness of the paramedic. Only an hour ago I donated to Amb Vic when renewing my membership. I've had several ambulance trips if you include transfers.

Lately I've had someone standing by me and checking on me, which is incredible. Some forums people are amazing too.

Someone else close blocked me - they hadn't been well and misinterpreted - and I'd been still looking at socials to see they were OK. They didn't post for 3 days and I worried and was going to follow up. Just found out they were in hospital. It brought home to me how I really should have acted because they might have been in trouble without any help. I apologised but now they know I knew and didn't do anything and I'm scared they'll block me completely. Probably a triple whammy of feeling bad about it. And at the same time scared of their reactions and having wanted to respect their boundaries.

It's possibly not uncommon for people caring about others with mh needs to face dilemmas - how and when to help, and if it's even possible sometimes.

I'd just like to say it's nice to see you back online lately, I hadn't seen you around for quite a while.