TheVorticonSenior Contributor
Angry and alone
Hi. I know I should write some sort of intro but just don't really know what there is to say.
I'm feeling angry and alone and like there's no one who cares.
FORUMS
Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.
- 47,612Members
- 1,358,869Posts
- 1,400,000Visitors
Angry and alone
459 replies
In response to: Angry and alone
utopiaSenior Contributor
Re: Angry and alone
♥♥♥♥ @TheVorticon.
Sending you strength.
Sending you strength.
In response to: Angry and alone
TheVorticonSenior Contributor
Re: Angry and alone
Thanks @utopia . I know what's behind this current grump but don't know how to change it. There just aren't enough hours in the day.
In response to: Angry and alone
utopiaSenior Contributor
Re: Angry and alone
@TheVorticon. Depending on how I'm feeling - it's either - not enough time in the day - or too much time. And I can experience both within the same day.
Would you like to talk about what is causing you this distress? I'm happy to listen.
Would you like to talk about what is causing you this distress? I'm happy to listen.
In response to: Re: Angry and alone
TheVorticonSenior Contributor
Re: Angry and alone
I can't think of a way to talk about it without it sounding stupid.
Ultimately it comes back to time management. There are things I have to do, things that are part obligation / part choice, and things I want to do. I just can't fit it all in, particularly when it takes me forever to get motivated.
e.g. last night I wanted to get groceries, catch a party hat pikachu, do dishes, go to bed early to catch up on sleep. But I ended up being at work for 11hrs, managed to make dinner (side effect of not having any snacks!), burnt my mouth eating it, sat around procrastinating until almost 9pm, finally went out to try and play pokemon only to get a phone call (which basically disables the game so I couldn't do both at once) so had to just sit outside for 10 mins, by then it's too late to wander the neighbourhood... Skip dishes, still go to bed too late to catch up on sleep.
Repeat. Every. Stupid. Night. If it's not a real thing getting in the way, then it's just me getting in my own way making things seem harder than they are.
So now I have 4 days of dishes. Which I'm not doing tonight because it's too late AGAIN. FSDUHJKLSDJKKLHJSE#Rfdrsxe
In response to: Angry and alone
utopiaSenior Contributor
Re: Angry and alone
@TheVorticon. Nothing you just said sounds stupid. Shit, I feel the same way, often, as do some of my friends and family. We all feel like this.
Living with a MI makes it harder on us.
But boy, are you really down on yourself. Cut yourself some slack. Sometimes work or phone calls or other things get in our way.
I'm no domestic goddess. Never have been. Never plan to be. It's not high on my priority list - ever.
I've left clothes in the washing machine for so long they have needed to be washed again. I did that 2 days ago. Finally hung them up today after a second wash. My dishes get done when I feel like it. My floors haven't been vacuumed for 2 weeks. And I can't even remember when I last mopped the floors.
Yes I would love to live in a clean house. I just don't want to be the one to clean it. And when my depression is around - nope - not going to get done.
Part of living a good life is prioritising what is important to you. Doing things you enjoy. And occasionally having to clean up and do chores.
So make another time to catch your Pokemon. The dishes can be done tomorrow morning.
Plans are simply that - plans. They are not concrete. They are not fixed. They can be changed or thrown out and new ones made.
Be gentle with yourself. You are doing the best you can.
Living with a MI makes it harder on us.
But boy, are you really down on yourself. Cut yourself some slack. Sometimes work or phone calls or other things get in our way.
I'm no domestic goddess. Never have been. Never plan to be. It's not high on my priority list - ever.
I've left clothes in the washing machine for so long they have needed to be washed again. I did that 2 days ago. Finally hung them up today after a second wash. My dishes get done when I feel like it. My floors haven't been vacuumed for 2 weeks. And I can't even remember when I last mopped the floors.
Yes I would love to live in a clean house. I just don't want to be the one to clean it. And when my depression is around - nope - not going to get done.
Part of living a good life is prioritising what is important to you. Doing things you enjoy. And occasionally having to clean up and do chores.
So make another time to catch your Pokemon. The dishes can be done tomorrow morning.
Plans are simply that - plans. They are not concrete. They are not fixed. They can be changed or thrown out and new ones made.
Be gentle with yourself. You are doing the best you can.
In response to: Re: Angry and alone
TheVorticonSenior Contributor
Re: Angry and alone
I'd probably have to get up at 4:45 if I wanted to do dishes in the morning because of other morning choice-bligations. Not that I'd mind getting up then if I wouldn't be tired, but I don't want a repeat of struggling to keep eyes open at desk during the day.
I know other people struggle with it too but I just feel so pathetic and useless. I don't have a good enough excuse for it.
In response to: Angry and alone
utopiaSenior Contributor
Re: Angry and alone
Yes you do @TheVorticon. You have a very busy and important job that takes a lot of your time.
Then you have a MI.
Then you have a life to enjoy.
And then, you could be lazy as well - just like me!.
And don't forget to add in tired.
Cut yourself some slack. Tell your negative self talk to 'shut up' & congratulate yourself on making it through an 11 hour day at work.
Congratulate yourself on cooking yourself dinner. Find things that you have done and recognise that.
None of us are perfect. You are doing a great job. The only negative is that negative self talk.
Then you have a MI.
Then you have a life to enjoy.
And then, you could be lazy as well - just like me!.
And don't forget to add in tired.
Cut yourself some slack. Tell your negative self talk to 'shut up' & congratulate yourself on making it through an 11 hour day at work.
Congratulate yourself on cooking yourself dinner. Find things that you have done and recognise that.
None of us are perfect. You are doing a great job. The only negative is that negative self talk.
In response to: Angry and alone
TheVorticonSenior Contributor
Re: Angry and alone
I don't even have a properly diagnosed MI though.
And then I'm back to the point that this isn't the life I want but I don't know how to fix it.
Yeah I could do more to recognise the good parts but there's too much of a delta and it's just not good enough.
And then I'm back to the point that this isn't the life I want but I don't know how to fix it.
Yeah I could do more to recognise the good parts but there's too much of a delta and it's just not good enough.
In response to: Angry and alone
utopiaSenior Contributor
Re: Angry and alone
You just take it one moment at a time and one day at a time @TheVorticon. And every day congratulate yourself on something that you achieved today.
It's about finding balance between work and play.
It's about finding balance between work and play.
In response to: Angry and alone
TheVorticonSenior Contributor
Re: Angry and alone
I'm sorry but that's where I'm stuck, I don't want to accept that things have to be like that.
To clarify, now that I'm in a better mindset... Ok the day-by-day thing is how it needs to be right now, but I need to believe that there's a long term "better life" goal that is defineable and achievable. Otherwise my life isn't worth it.
