Safe Now

@Till23

I enjoy painting. I used to do the odd bit of colouring in but I recently decluttered and threw out a bunch of colouring books

@Till23

I did EMDR today and now I have a headache so I am going to log off. Maybe we can chat another time?

Hope you are okay @Oaktree . Please take care. This is a deep valley you are experiencing, but we are by your side.

@Oaktree self blame is textbook for CSA (really any childhood abuse). I am still dealing with that and shame (among other things).

You know that you are not to blame, as do I. However, there is the cognitive knowing and the emotional knowing. I think the emotional knowing is hard. I hope you can reach that soon.

No problem @Oaktree

I hope you have a restful night

Yes chat later

I’d be very interested to hear about EMDR @Oaktreeas that has been suggested for me, but others say no.

Another time of course

Thanks @Till23

I struggle a lot with the shame. I find it really hard to speak the abuse out loud to my psych. I have started writing it down for her to read but that is difficult too. Sometimes I write things I don’t want her to know so I don’t show her that. Logically I know it wasn’t my fault because I was too young to know it wasn’t normal. It was normal in my family unfortunately.

Thanks @tyme

@Till23

The EMDR wasn’t as scary as I thought it was going to be and at the time it settled the feelings. I am still experiencing distress tonight so maybe I need more than one session on this particular memory. I would say to try it and see what you think

So it seems you’ve also only recently sought help for your past abuse @Oaktree

I also found it hard to say things to psychologist at first, but she was very good and also reassured me I was not the only one and that she’d heard it before. Similarly, I would write things out but then only mention the things I felt comfortable doing so. Sometimes it would take me weeks or months to mention things.

@Till23

I am 54.

I don’t easily trust.

I previously saw a public psychologist for about 3 years with a view to doing trauma therapy but she said I wasn’t ready.

I waited a couple of years before seeking out this psych. She specialises in trauma but it took me months to assess whether or not I could trust her. She is very kind and compassionate and is very good. My sessions are currently funded by NDIS