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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

Re: Running

@tyme

The pain and the memories outweigh the joy found in the sacrament... in every sacrament... twisting it for their own gains... things that bring others so much joy and confidence in their salvation only bring me pain and darkness

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

I'm so sorry to hear this @avant-garde . So so sorry.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@tyme

You ok?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Hey @avant-garde ,

Yes yes, I'm okay. Thank you for asking.

I hear how hard things have been for you, and to be honest, it makes me very angry that people use their position of power to hurt others. But I can't say too much here as I don't know the ins and outs of people's story.

I just want you to know that you deserve so much better. You do not have to be trapped in this trauma for the rest of your life.

Sitting with you.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@tyme

This was the part of my history that the police wanted to know about with the most recent statements, the ones I haven't given them yet because apparently they were waiting on me, ugh, bureaucracy.

Turns out they want to put everything together, including this bit, to go after my dad again

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Oh hun @avant-garde .

Do they provide support in doing so?

Take your time and reach out if you need it. You do not have to re-live it on your own.

Sitting with you.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@tyme

I have a friend, who's more like a big sister, going with me to the interviews. There are no organisations that provide support for victims, not even the government victim support agency.

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Re: Running

@Jynx

I have finally done all that I need to today and glad to relax for a bit, exhausted though

I know you're about to log off 😉 but wanted to check in

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Re: Running

@Jynx

I let people in today... and they didn't hurt me...

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde eyyyyy nice! We love to hear it! 😁

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