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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor25 Nov 2024, 10:10 pm AEDT

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor22 Mar 2025, 9:09 pm AEDT

Re: Running

*curls up crying into @Jynx's arms*

In response to: Re: Running

JynxModerator22 Mar 2025, 9:27 pm AEDT

Re: Running

@avant-garde *softly pats your hair and sings something cute*

Nearly outta night ain't we?

In response to: Re: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor22 Mar 2025, 9:32 pm AEDT

Re: Running

@Jynx

Yeah, but you'll be back next week and I'll be ok

Strokes not pats please. Pats are what I do to one of my best friends when I want to make her glare at me and then laugh, strokes is something I find comforting and endearing

In response to: Re: Running

JynxModerator22 Mar 2025, 9:39 pm AEDT

Re: Running

Yes indeedy @avant-garde! You will be okay anyway I reckon, got lots of faith in that! But I'm always glad to be part of it as well! Yay! More pillow caves, always!!

Huh... I realise now what I was picturing was strokes, or like scritches - gently combing hair through fingers ya know? But you're right, pats conjures a different image! So I won't do pats, definitely gentle strokes 😊

I shall say nighty night!! Hope you have a restful weekend hun, and may next week behave itself a bit better than this one did!! Oodles of toodles! *last hug for the road* 🫂🫂

In response to: Re: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor23 Mar 2025, 1:16 pm AEDT

Re: Running

Another sermon on beeping contentment. He better not approach me after, I may just lose my temper.

Boundary statement: I appreciate that you want to see me content, but I don't feel comfortable when you advise me on how to feel. I will get there with time, not advice. Thank you for checking in though.

My social worker is encouraging me to be softer...

In response to: Re: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor24 Mar 2025, 4:46 pm AEDT

Re: Running

*tip toes up behind @Jynx and wraps my arms around them*

In response to: Re: Running

JynxModerator24 Mar 2025, 4:53 pm AEDT

Re: Running

@avant-garde 😮 you so sneaky!! I was JUST about to tag you first this time!! Teeheehee

*gets surprise hug, squeaks with delight*

In response to: Re: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor24 Mar 2025, 4:55 pm AEDT

Re: Running

@Jynx

what? you beat me? never!

In response to: Re: Running

JynxModerator24 Mar 2025, 5:09 pm AEDT

Re: Running

@avant-garde hehehe how foolish of me!!

*quietly sets alarm 'sneak up on avant-garde' for 3pm tomorrow*

In response to: Re: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor24 Mar 2025, 5:11 pm AEDT

Re: Running

@Jynx you know you're doomed now, because I can set an alarm too

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.