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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

Yeah about 5 minutes away now

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde yippee!

I am eating butter chicken curry. Soooo tasty 🤤

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx something happened earlier that got to me...

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Oh no hun sorry to hear it!! @avant-garde one to unpack together?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

Ru-bee and I talked about it a little bit it's hard to process things when I'm out, so I guess that's a yes

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

I'll go have a quick squiz at what you two chatted about @avant-garde - and you're similar to me, I usually can't process a single thing until I'm alone again, in my safe space. You settled in at home now?

In response to: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde This person calling other people entitled is reeking of projection. To condemn or criticise another's need for a carer sounds like someone who thinks that they should be entitled to one too, regardless of their circumstances, and if they don't get one then no one else deserves one either. What an immature human being.

Despite what anyone said, I reckon you handled it like a Boss! It can be soooo easy to get caught up in trying to argue but some people you just need to walk away from. Conserve your energy!!

Imagine it's left you feeling pretty beat tho?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx yeah and my case manager checked in on me just now, I appreciate her

(This one was meant to be before your last one but it still makes sense)

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde gladness! Always nice to know someone has us in their thoughts ay 😊

Anything you must put brain-power to or you free to just melt into the couch?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

I'm not entitled am I?

I hate these stereotypes...

It reminded me of what happened and how I'll never see justice... that men just like him... it just... it reinforces everything that I find it so hard not to believe...

that I'm worthless and don't matter...

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