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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

Re: Running

I'm not entitled! I've never been entitled in my entire life!

Content/trigger warning
If experiencing sexual abuse at the hands of your dad and others, not knowing when they'll let you eat or give you water and never seeing justice or retribution for what you've been through!

If that's entitled then sure call me entitled! Oh wait they probably would...

@Jynx

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

I can't imagine anyone calling you entitled @avant-garde

Do you want to talk about it? Sending you some gentle hugs

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Ru-bee he said it in regards to one of the ladies having a Vietnamese carer that day, judging her based on her culture and then when she left, calling the rest of us entitled compared to her.

I called him out and said that he doesn't know our backgrounds or how we've grown up and not to label us entitled (us being me in this regard). So before I lost my temper, I said that I can't do this. He said I was being too sensitive and then one that I consider friend said that I was choosing to run away and said to come back.

I didn't choose to run away, I chose to protect them and diffuse the situation. It wasn't me being sensitive, it was me being me and challenging others based on my values and beliefs.

I'm not entitled... I've been through more than anyone can imagine that has shaped me, who I am and my values and just because they are different to others doesn't make them any less valid.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

I'm so proud of you for standing your ground @avant-garde That's definitely not an easy thing to do, and it sounds like you did it in a way that was still respectful, yet firm, which can be even harder when we've been upset.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx!

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde!!

How's you?

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Re: Running

@Jynx

Better now that you're here

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Re: Running

@avant-garde eeee hehehe

Shall we frolic? Or low-energy vibes more your speed?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx low vibes, I'll likely emotionally crash when I get home

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde course hun 😌

You getting home real soon I hope? Time for cosy-maxxing 😋

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