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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx both?

whacked my head and left shoulder on concrete...

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Sure @avant-garde!

Oh ouch!! You poor thing, I hope you've got a cold compress or some ice to put on your swelling? Nooo your poor brain, hope it didn't get too rattled about 🥺

Here's the table!! I just love the idea of having a puzzle you can temporarily put away without ruining progress!!

And a bonus pic of the pieces of her jigsaw - it's kitties!!

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx cold compress might be an idea

I have a drafting table with Velcro bits around the edge for felt but for my plastic puzzles no felt works better.

I like the drawers in your grandma's one though

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Oh true @avant-garde is it that the felt is too fibrous? like the little wisps get in between the puzzle pieces?

You know I have never once completed (or even really attempted... lol) a puzzle in my life?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx yeah, the back has bits of green everywhere

Some people don't have the patience for puzzles.

But I don't see the point in golf or fishing which some people seem to enjoy...

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde you and me both! My dad was a fisherman back when I was growing up. Never understood it! And the smell of dead fish is ALL I can think of whenever I smell seafood now so... I just don't eat it!!

I think I would have the patience for a puzzle... maybe... hahaha but alas my biggest problem is not having a lot of surfaces in my house. I don't even own a dining table or any upright chairs! But puzzles are apparently good for memory and boy oh boy do I struggle with that!

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx I don't have much space either so I do mini puzzles, 368 pieces is the size of an a5 page, 150 piece is smaller than a photo

*curls up wearily in @Jynx's arms*

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde oooh that's cool! Hmmm maybe I'm tempted hahaha.... better not let my impulsive lil ADHD brain go too nuts about it tho, if I'm not careful I'll get hyperfocused and spend like $150 on puzzles, do half of them, then abandon it all to some dusty corner for 9 months 🤣

*sings soft songs of silly things to you*

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx I like the singing...

You're logging off soon

But you'll be around tomorrow

@tyme is away at the moment, I like her too, but she needed the break, I hope she's taking it and not doing a million things

My case manager likes you, that we have a good relationship on here. She felt better that you'd be around today. We laugh at me going to a LGBTQ+ games store. She finds it funny that I don't do what my church thinks too.

Like "you don't go anywhere where people are employed on a Sunday because that's the day of rest and everyone should abide by it and you're encouraging them to work". Yeah they can shut up, I go to calm me down after church because you leave me alone triggered so they can shut up about it.

Just like no one checked in on me today... not from church anyway...

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde indeedy!! So I shall bid you gooooodnighty night *bonus squishy hugs coming to you*

I hope tyme is skipping into the sunset merrily my own self!! Haha such a well-deserved break hey!

Aww yay! I'm glad to be here for you as well hun, it always leaves me smiling when we chat 😊 I just wish those church people could see that too! Grumbles at them not checking in ☹️

*one more hug for the road* rest well hun, catch you tomorrow 💜

🫂🫂🫂🫂

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