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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx sufficiently distracted watching death in paradise with my best friend

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Oooh nice @avant-garde

Admittedly had to google that one!! Thrilling drama? Or more light-hearted?

Also don't let me distract you from your distraction!! We can catch up a lil later this evening if you're hooked into the show!! Teehee 😉

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx cleverly light-hearted

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde gladness! Your friend headed off? How you travelling?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx I go to hers, she has my cat

Trying not to think about tomorrow, telling myself that I'm doing the right thing

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde aww yay for kitty visits!

Oof, you're in waiting limbo till then ay. Do you wanna talk about it, or distractions the better option right now?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx validation mostly, that I'm doing the right thing and I'm going to be ok

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde hun, I cannot express in words just how brave I think you are. You wouldn't have gotten here if it weren't right, that's what I think.

You will absolutely be okay. It will suck. It is entirely likely you won't feel okay, it's even possible you'll feel not only not-okay, but also feel that you may never be okay again. But you will be okay in the end - I have ENORMOUS faith in you, and I trust that God is leading you exactly where you need to go. And you've proven time and time again that you are so much stronger than everything that's ever been thrown your way!

The community will be here to catch you, whatever happens 💜

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

This will be big @Jynx...

It's the names of everyone from the corrupt church, the girl I taught, me, I'm scared of the backlash, knowing what it could bring. It's all those what ifs...

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde sometimes the right thing to do is also the scariest thing to do. Please remember - no MATTER the outcome, it will not change the fact that you are walking the moral path. It will not mean that you should have remained silent. Because even if it does all go pear-shaped (which I doubt, but keep my fingers crossed anyway) who's to say that it won't end up paving the way for much greater change down the track?

You've conquered so much adversity hun. You have all you need to survive already within you - I've witnessed your inner power! Hopefully, you won't have to hold this brave face in place for much longer 🤞💜

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