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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

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In response to: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor

Re: Running

@Jynx I have so many of my creations...

  • table top stair shelf
  • Empire state building 3D jigsaw puzzle
  • Big Ben 3D jigsaw puzzle
  • Alcohol ink trinket box
  • Full size stair shelf
  • Money box I painted
  • Basket that I wove
  • Another basket that I painted
  • 2× 300pc plastic jigsaw puzzles
  • 500pc plastic Winnie the Pooh jigsaw puzzle
  • Diamond art letter holder

In response to: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor

Re: Running

@Jynx getting triggered by that was completely normal wasn't it? Any CSA survivor would've been triggered by that right?

In response to: Re: Running

JynxModerator

Re: Running

Everyone's triggers are different @avant-garde but I wouldn't at all be surprised by many others having the same reaction as you. In fact it seems more related than some triggers I've had people tell me about! Totally normal.

Also, thank you for sharing about your space!! Teehee it actually all makes sense in my brain, like it sounds exactly like avant-garde's space 😊

I'd love to see the basket you wove! Maybe another day you can show me.

In response to: Re: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor

Re: Running

@Jynx I have my newest plushie next to me, she's really soft and has a cute little smile, I like her ears best though.

Vaporeon is the Eevee water evolution

In response to: Re: Running

JynxModerator

Re: Running

@avant-garde how are you feeling in this moment by the way hun?

In response to: Re: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor

Re: Running

@Jynx tired but thankful I can breathe easier now

In response to: Re: Running

JynxModerator

Re: Running

Oh I totally forgot to say that I did see your vaporeon the other day @avant-garde - SO CUTE!! I will have to show you my evies, I dunno where they are tho...

Do you have more pokemon plushies?

In response to: Re: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor

Re: Running

@Jynx I have an Eevee and a Pikachu

I also have a sonic

In response to: Re: Running

JynxModerator

Re: Running

Gladness 🥰

Omg okay I am totally starting the plushies thread tomorrow!! @avant-garde I wanna show off now ahaha. Would love to see ya lil Eevee and pikachu too!! I also have a lil gremlin, a tassie tiger, a lion (I named Simba, tho not official merch lol) and some other lil guys... Yes, this thread will happen 😍

Have you seen those giant snorlax bean bags? I want one soooo bad.

In response to: Re: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor

Re: Running

@Jynx no I haven't seen them... there's an Eevee photo on here too somewhere, I had been trying to ages, still trying to find my Pikachu photo but I do have one somewhere, I think Pikachu is in storage, I won it while I was homeless as a way to make me smile, first time I ever succeeded.

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