Running

@Appleblossom

I trust my elder, he was my friend first, when my last elder stepped down he was the one with the best chance of furthering my growth in changing my old ways of thinking.

The elder from yesterday isn't my elder, he's a elder but not my elder. I knew I wouldn't do well with him and when I would've automatically been put under his wing kind of thing, I said no.

My elder was the one who stepped up and said that he's got me, he chose me, that we were friends first.

My church is the closest thing I have to family and while we don't have a pastor, our elders are the next port of call and I wouldn't have anyone else right now because we have a solid friendship and he has learned my quirks and I really admire him.

Yes he knows about the police, there's no court just yet, because I trust him so so much that I trust he will pray for me and love me.

The other one though, he can go shove his opinion up the wazoo and I didn't want to mention the police to him, but it was my only way out and I was getting panicked that I did need to pull the wild card on the jerk to get out.

@avant-garde its great you have your own elder who you can trust.

Yes, its important to have some human connection and a sense of family can be helpful.

Figuring out who is trustworthy, is not something I am good at. You have done that. You are not morally obligated to answer the random elders questions. Sometimes they might not have the maturity or wisdom to be told anything. Sometimes maybe its their idle curiosity.

The situation I had was different. They no longer have an elder system in my church. A lonely man was coming on strong, talking a lot about the genuine needs of the church, but then coming down heavy, with nonsense statements and trying to tell me what to do. He kept saying he needs to learn to listen but in the end I became concerned about his actual comprehension because of the things he said. Anyway I guess that is me learning a boundary. Enough with that person. Keep it firmly polite only.

@Jynx!

Hiya @avant-garde!! Just been reading over what you've shared, and I have to agree with @Appleblossom - your journey into your identity and your connection with Christ is an absolute inspiration. I do adore the concept of Grace, too. I think for me, it is also connected to the concept of surrender - to humbly accept and trust in the wisdom of the higher consciousness, of God, and to know that you're being led on the path you need to walk. For me, Grace is walking that path without resistance. Still a work in progress of course 😋

@Jynx

For this ridiculous elder to make the assumption that I'm not where he sees me is doubting the wisdom and timing of God.

I remember those very very early days when I was terrified of God and anything Christian! And it took my dear sweet grandmother to show me different. It took the Bible to show me different. It took a lot of theological struggles to show me different.

This elder needs to look at his own motives and his own heart before making judgements on me and my walk. It's not his place to tell me 'to be more content'.

My God saved me and rescued me from the hell I was in and my progress is not for him to judge.

@avant-garde 💪😎✨

Look at you go!! I love that your grandmother provided you with an opportunity to create your own relationship with God.

Also, saying 'just be more content' is, to my mind, in the same vein as 'you should relax' or 'you need to calm down'. It is an attempt to 'correct' our emotional experience. But emotions are energy! Energy doesn't need correcting. It just needs to be felt. And we can't force contentment, we find it 😊

@Jynx and then the trigger hits... who I am in God... such a massive trigger!

@avant-garde Are you experiencing those triggered emotions again right now hun? Sitting with ya 💜

@Jynx yep

*gently rocks back and forth crying*

@avant-garde

*sees you rocking* ooo rockin time! *sits n rocks with ya*

You somewhere that feels safe rn?