Running

@Jynx

We played this deck

And yeah surgery is bringing up a lot

TW: SA

I'm not scared for the surgery, I'm scared of the wave of triggers I'll get after

Oh cool @avant-garde so you are using a sort of... relationship building/self-care deck to play cards? I can see why it took much longer! But I do love that, love the creativity, and love using tools in unusual ways. Amazing! Would you recommend the deck for couples and folks to use too?

So valid that it's the aftermath that is most concerning, especially because that's typically where the medical care ends. Perhaps it would be helpful to put together a little plan - like a list of grounding strats and affirmations and the like, something to turn to when your mind is already in overwhelm/exhaustion? Maybe grab some creative activity kits or some crafting supplies to give you something to do and to focus on?

Do you have anyone who could come in to check up on you periodically?

We will also be here for you, of course 💜

@Jynx

I would highly recommend this deck and the conversations one. Dr Jenny Woo is the creator of these decks and multiple others (I have 4 different ones, but there's like 12+).

After general anaesthetic you can't be released on your own, you need to have someone with your for 24 hours. I've organised to go back to Snow White's and Charming's place for the night.

@avant-garde Thanks for sharing, I'll definitely check em out!

I'm glad you've got a place to land afterwards. Hopefully they'll ensure you're well looked after. Is that just the one night? Would the option to stay longer be helpful?

@Jynx

They're a busy family and even when I was homeless they wouldn't let me stay. They're schedule is more important than me, I know this. If I had a choice I would stay in hospital because of how unwanted I feel when I interrupt their lives.

Even this was like pulling out teeth

@avant-garde ach, that is so rough. I'm sorry that they aren't more supportive to you in your hour of need 🥺

I wish that there was less of a trend towards selfishness in our society. That it was easier to find and build caring, supportive communities. You don't deserve to be alone in this 💜

@Jynx

At least I've learned though right?

It only took a bunch of empty promises and days of heartache and bitterness while I was homeless and in a car accident right?

@avant-garde the lessons have been particularly difficult and painful for you, to be sure. How does one find gratitude for growth when grief shrouds the memory?

@Jynx

Life would have to stop long enough for me to reflect. It's moving too fast at the moment

Aye I totally feel you @avant-garde it's hard to slow down when life places so many, and such continuous demands on our time and energy. And sometimes we need to prioritise functionality which means not even being able to dedicate time for reflection and grieving and processing so we don't completely fall apart.

I hope there's more time to breathe and just be, somewhere on the horizon for you 🤞💜