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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

Re: Running

@MissGremlin

They're not

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Re: Running

@avant-garde I'm glad to hear. How was your day sweetheart?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@MissGremlin

I'm not ready to talk about that.

You can see the white tuft on Ebony's chest in these photos, she's such a beautiful little girl. She'll be 10 this year.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde i hear you sweet and that's completely ok.

She's stunning 😍. Wow 10 this year, how long have you had her for?

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Re: Running

@MissGremlin

It'll be 4 years this June

I reckon she was the runt of the litter, she's so small.

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Re: Running

@avant-garde will you do anything special for her birthday?

She may have been or she may just be a smaller cat. Either way she's perfect just the way she is ☺️

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@MissGremlin

Don't know, maybe I'll have the telephone seat bed finished for her

I like that she's black, it says 😛 to superstition.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde oohh I'm intrigued by the sounds of that ☺️.

Haha there's nothing superstitious about black cats, they are just adorable 😍

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@tyme

I have church again tomorrow

I can't say I'm not scared

Last week was inaccessible

It felt like they didn't care

It made me feel dispensable

The decoration meant more than me

I thought we were community

But has it ever been "we"

Matthew West writes "truth be told"

We're told but do we listen?

We're told but do we change?

Have we learned to be accessible?

Dare I say that we have not

Is there an accessible church?

How about denomination?

What about different faiths?

Jesus, was he accessible?

Did he drive us away?

No, he showed compassion

But not in a transactional way

He drew near the outcasts

He accepted the poor

He celebrated the weak

Said we're indispensable

Our wounds may not be visible

Our scars may not be seen

You see our exterior

But do you see all of me?

I may not have a wheelchair

I may not read in Braille

I may not need sign language

But my disability is real

It may be psychological

It may be neurodiverse

It may be invisible

But in some ways that is worse

Jesus, he included us

He showed us our worth

He teaches us in his actions

Now? It's your turn

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Hope today was okay @avant-garde

Thinking of you.

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