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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

Re: Running

Awww @avant-garde

Thank you for sharing. I didn't realise it was that far back. It sounds so so hard. I can see why this is such a difficult time for you.

I am glad you have the courage to speak up and let the pastor know.

I'm sorry about what has happened.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Thinking about you today @avant-garde

Hope the service is okay.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@tyme

I ran away

They had pumpkins on the pulpit

I told Azariah that they were triggering

He just said to go talk to the person who put them there

Pumpkins > Halloween > rituals

In a church context > far too familiar

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

I asked for his help! And as usual he proves worse than useless!

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Umm... why pumpkins on the pulpit?? @avant-garde

Sorry to hear it was triggering.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Arghh...it makes me think, "Don't expect anything from anyone and you'll never be disappointed"


@avant-garde wrote:

I asked for his help! And as usual he proves worse than useless!


In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@tyme

I don't know and I don't care.

Well at least a bunch of people saw me leave, they can't say I didn't try, even our pastor saw me.

Why do you think I have him saved on WhatsApp as "don't reach out to him or will only hurt you"

I'll message Rapunzel's husband to let her know, she's as careful with her number as I am with mine.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

So sorry that happened today @avant-garde

Hope you can be kind to yourself. Do you think you'll go back this evening?

I'm here if you need company

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@tyme

I reached out to people I trust and they removed them.

It's thanksgiving Sunday, that's why the pumpkins were there.

I'll go to church this evening and let my church support me.

I'll also avoid Azariah

I'm right about him, his title as "mental health guy" doesn't make him any more competent or any less of a privileged idiot

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

As hard as it is, it sounds like there are those who care @avant-garde

Take it easy as you go there tonight.

I'll be with you in spirit. And if you have to stay away from Azariah, so be it.

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