Running

@Jynx

Yeah, I have been researching toy cleaners and found a recipe for one that even if there's residue it's the least likely to cause irritation or upset pH levels.

Of course I'm getting nerdy with this.

Oh yesterday was funny...

I have a friend who isn't Christian so I can ask the embarrassing questions...

I rendered her speechless when I mentioned my homework and had questions about it's maintenance and such...

I won movie tickets last year that I wouldn't use because of the sexualised nature of it and then I go asking about that...

Apparently I kept going red with embarrassment...

@avant-garde That sounds both physically and emotionally painful.

I find it hard to consider what my body will be like in 20 years time, let alone 50 or 60 years time. Can I ask how you cope with that thought? (it's totally OK to now answer though -- and that goes for any question ever ask too!)

I had an MRI of my knees when I was 21 due to pain; showed degeneration. I was 11 when a podiatrist assessed my feet and told my mum my big toes had indications/predicted of arthritic changes (I don't know exactly what or how they knew; and I didn't know this myself until I mentioned to my mum 10 years later that I get pain in my big toes from walking - that's when she told me what the podiatrist had said). I injured my lower back when I was 13 and had chronic pain since then, but no doctor ever suggested getting an xray or scan for it. When I went to a chiro finally last year they did one - one joint is Stage 2-3 degeneration with almost bone-on-bone -- explained why it is so painful!

But I am so, so lucky because my arthritic joints do not seem to be degenerating fast, and my spine does not seem to be impinging on any nerves (no sciatica). But mine is not bad enough on any part to have doctors broach the idea of surgery. I can only imagine how that feels for you to no doubt have both worse pain than I as well as knowing that you are most likely to need multiple surgeries over your lifetime for it.

It is frustrating when people tell us "we wouldn't know". The assumptions just because of our age and that these things are not always "visible". I'm sorry that person said that to you. 😢

I so often get the "because of your size" message from people too. They don't stop to think about which came first! And for me, the pain came first -- it is why I stopped doing sport after 12 years old. It hurt too much on my ankles and knees. And then of course I tried to skateboard (very briefly) and hurt my lower back falling when I was 13 😅. I just realised that was the same year I also spun-out on a go-kart and injured my wrists (another injury that has stayed with me, albeit muscular & inflammatory rather than bones).

Not very much you can do without ankles, knees, lower-back or wrists 😅. I was told swimming & cycling were OK for my knees. Cycling was my choice - but ouchy lower back and hilly where I have lived. So then I tried water-based exercise in 2019 finally -- I hate wearing swimmers (clingy, show shape) and so that was a lot to get used to and try to "ignore" whilst doing it. But it did help with my back pain without aggravating my knees. I stopped during covid and never got back into it properly due to work fatigue. I really need to start going again now I am off work; even if only once a week for half an hour.

I didn't know that stress caused more acid in the mouth (but i do now!) - but I did know it causes more in the stomach (or at least inflames my GERD), along with soo many other physiological things too. Inflammation is also one of those things that has soo many effects on the body, and health science is still continuing to find out more and more each year. Sometimes people just think mental-stress is purely psychological and not physically-impacting. Ignorance on their part, eh? Thankfully some people are receptive to learning when they hear that there are wider impacts/implications; I wish everyone was though - that would be a nicer world to be in I think.

@avant-garde honestly love that you're getting nerdy with it!! I think that like me, you have a curious mind that finds comfort in knowledge, and I would wager that the more research you do, the more your confidence may grow. I reckon you can definitely be proud of yourself for stepping outside your comfort zone in this way!

I hope your experimentation is fruitful 😊💜

@AlwaysMyself

I was a fierce sprinter all through primary school, always placed in the relays and sprints. High school was when I stopped sprinting and gained weight because my knees hurt and my flat feet were damaging my ankles too. I loved to run. But my place wasn't on the track or in the library and anything that got in the way of my dad's plan for me was out of the question.

It was the car crash that meant I got the ct scan on my spine that showed degeneration of my L4+5.

My balance is quite bad in my left ankle, but I enjoy bike riding and love my bike.

With bathers I wear what's called a tankini with a men's sports top and shorts over the top. I am also not allowed to get my ears wet with chlorine because my ears don't drain properly.

@avant-garde I know we're not related, but sometimes reading things and I'm thinking "me too!" 😅 Poor balance & poor ear-drainage. I found I had to pull my ear lobes to drain them after aqua, as I was very prone to infections as they don't drain well (likewise if I get a cold/flu, I need to ensure to reduce inflammation in my ear canals to prevent infections). I have glasses, and I can't see without them (plus headache), so I also keep my head above the water when doing aquatic exercise for that reason.

I'm hearing how your dad was so controlling and abusive. 😭. He had no right to do the things he did. I wish I knew what to say; I wish I could ease the pain a little. I wish we had a time machine and could go back and save you before any of it started - perhaps when you were born?

@AlwaysMyself

If I had a TARDIS I would go back to when my dad was born and make sure he could never have children.

I'm the same with colds and such. I find I can swim in salt water fine and not get infections, but with my ankles I don't do sand very well.

There are a few pools that have salt water lap lanes that I can really just have fun because I love the water.

Pool walking is an option for me.

I am very blessed that my vision was something my dad couldn't ignore, I have had surgery on both growing up to fix the squint I developed when I was 7. I have a slight astigmatism but treating that makes the squint worse and would mean another surgery. The astigmatism isn't bad enough to warrant treating just yet though.

Bright lights give me a searing headache though that I wear blue light glasses when I'm driving at night for all the idiots that think I'll speed up because they flash their high beam.

Oh yes, a TARDIS lol @avant-garde !

And i do like the idea of your dad not having *any* children to do these things too - you are right. However, can we still make sure that you / your spirit is still born through someone else instead, right? I don't want to erase you in the process!

Sand is very painful for my ankles too. Thankfully I don't like the beach -- the sand getting in everywhere, and well I am scared of sharks even though I think they are nice and they have more right to the ocean so I dont want to get rid of them even though I am scared of them in the wild. 😅. But if i do go to a beach with people, I always head straight for the edge of the water where the sand is wet and compact to walk on.

Snow is the same, although I have not walked much in the snow. It is exhausting though! And ankles ouch. I love the snow though 🥰 its so pretty to me.

When i was in Namibia on a holiday with a friend we went on a day tour Sandboarding in the Sand Dunes. But i couldn't do it of course because it required walking up to the top of the sand dunes. But i still wanted to go with her and see it 😊, so I sat at the bottom and took photos and videos of them. 🥰 everyone other than me was soo exhausted from it 🤣🤣 jt was a BIG dune to walk up 2-3 times! 🤣

I'm glad your vision was treated 😊 (even though it sounds like it may have been the only thing that was 😢). My glasses correct my myopia, but I dont think they do for my astigmatism. My vusion has declined in clarity/focus a lot in the past 2-3 years and i went to the optomitrist a year or so ago and my myopia hadnt changed much, but my astigmatism had - which they think was likely the reason I was finding things blurry and taking ages to focus. But no solution was offered to me. I havent considered laser eye surgery seriously yet, but i'm thinking maybe i should ask about it (now that my myopia has stabilised) and whether or not it can help with astigmatism? But it feels such a big risk in the super-rare event it goes wrong, right??

Blue light glasses for driving is a great idea!

Headlights in the rearview annoy me too. Esp because i have a low-down small car too, so its even more at eye-level than in a higher up car.

@AlwaysMyself

I find Officeworks to sell the best blue light glasses, I wear them in the cinema too

@Jynx

They got here today...

Part of me doesn't want to be patient with my recovery and just jump in with the most advanced option first...

My mind has made an important connection though...

@AlwaysMyself

How do you get past the guilt and shame as a Christian?