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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

Re: Running

they really do @avant-garde what usually helps you deal with them?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@rav3n grounding usually, then distractions like tv

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

what sort of grounding exercises do you do? like the 5 senses ones? @avant-garde how are you holding up with the flashbacks now?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@rav3n

5 senses yes, grounding statement

In and out of them, psychosomatic sensations

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Ru-bee dentist today...

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Sending you hugs and strength @avant-garde

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Ru-bee

I had a seizure last night... it went for about 40 minutes...

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Oh goodness @avant-garde I hope you're okay after that. How are you feeling this today?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Ru-bee

Emotionally I feel depleted

Physically exhausted

My back is hating me but I can't handle being touched at the moment

We'll see how the dentist goes, I have my music so should be ok but have a mini jigsaw puzzle for after.

My trauma sister messaged me this morning and appreciated the spreadsheet for my jigsaw puzzles, she gets back in a few days, I miss her

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

It sounds like you're really good on your self care/soothing methods @avant-garde which is great and I'm sure helpful during days like this

Hopefully after the dentist you can rest for the remainder of the day if that'd what you're needing

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