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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

Re: Running

Hahahaha. LOL. Maybe that's why I don't do puzzles??? @avant-garde

Do you have another one you'll start on soon?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@tyme

You're assuming I haven't started another one already

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

You're welcome @avant-garde .

Is that new one Amsterdam??

It reminds me of Amsterdam at least 🥰😍

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@AlwaysMyself

Colmar, France

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Oohh. I may have to add this to my travel list 😊. It looks a pretty place.

I havent really been to France (a 1 day stop on a cruise ship only).

Travel is my "interesting" in life @avant-garde 🙂.

In response to: Running

Re: Running

@MissGremlin the majority don't believe the date needs to be changed, and that includes a lot of indigenous people. My personal opinion is that it's sad that a small group of people want to cause upset and unrest. How can we move on if we keep bringing up the past?
There is so much division in Australia these days which is really disappointing. Regardless of where we come from we should celebrate how lucky we are to live here.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@AlwaysMyself

I prefer my books, I'm listening to a 51 book missionary series at the moment

There are even 2 books with Australian missionaries

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running


@avant-garde wrote:

@tyme

You're assuming I haven't started another one already


LOL. Oops @avant-garde ! Cool stuff!

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

I feel the cold calculations

The exhaustion and fatigue

The desire to a do a stupid thing

From which I'm 7 years clean

The darkness crept up slowly

With each trigger and overwhelm

Little love to follow

The desire, the darkness, grows

Sunday with Delilah

Monday with invasion

Tuesday with anxiety

Over what was yet to come

Wednesday with chiro

Thursday with therapy

Friday with the impacts

Today with the deacon

Darkness with it's strangle hold

The cold of calculations

Not physically exhausted

But mentally fatigued

Jigsaws are not helping

Audiobooks the same

Music I am over

Can nothing drown the pain

I'm not foreign to disbelief

Or foreign to "God speaking"

I don't put much credence in it

I've been there done that

But the trigger so familiar

Like all the many before

To being called a liar

One who's out to deceive

The one I wrote just yesterday

Tells of these such times

The ones who said I'm lying

About what's happened in my life

The feeling so familiar

The desire to do stupid things

Cold and calculated

Darkness envelops me

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde oh sweetheart, I hear you and I'm here with you. Sending you lots of hugs ❤️.

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