Running

As humans, our mind cannot fathom the greatness of God. That's where faith comes in. If we could understand or see it, would we still need faith @avant-garde ?

@tyme

There's still so much of me that feels like I'm blemishes and dirty, that I'm marked by the occult...

But at least there is that seed of doubt...

May God give you the faith to bury any seeds of doubt hun @avant-garde

Faith is what will keep you.

@tyme

The seed of doubt is a good thing

You know trees planted along the roads and next to footpaths?

Eventually the seed of doubt, it's roots will grow and shatter the boulders and the concrete of the lies I've been taught, this is just one of the lies, probably one of the deepest though.

I think it was providential timing that had me read the book about the leper colony, the transforming journey of faith 19 year old Atta and on when diagnosed with leprosy, the same belief of unclean being that of mine, the same grappling, that it God could help her believe, that he can help me

Hrmmm... tell me more. I never considered it that way. For me, the seed is the seed of the Word of God. It gets sown in hearts with each ground representing a different heart @avant-garde

@tyme

For so long I was told I was worthless, I was good for nothing, everything that the poem I wrote says. It builds a path that you walk, a path of pain, a path that is clouded by the lies you have been taught to believe, you walk along the path of deception, where on that path your view is one that deceives you into believing the lies you've been taught.

You're right in saying the seeds are the word of God, but the power in those seeds is one that can be dismissed so easily.

You see the trees by the roads? Or by the pathways?

You see how the roots go down and then out?

Those trees, once seeds are the ones that can break the deepest of lies and beliefs. The roots spread down into the depths of your heart, and then spread out to show the truth to those around you, pushing the path of deception up and showing cracks from the roots of the tree underneath, shattering the lies for all the world to see.

That seed of doubt that was planted? That sermon? That book? This conversation? It's that seed growing roots to the depths of my heart, where the lie had taken hold and one day it'll be a path made of the tree roots of truth that I'll follow.

Why would it be the seed of doubt though @avant-garde ? Wouldn't it be more the seed of faith?

I've read your post again and again and I'm trying to work it out.

Wouldn't the seed of faith be the one to spread out it's roots to unearth the lies before exposing them for the world to see?

Why would doubt to this? So 'doubt' is the unbelief, right?

I still don't see it. Sorry.

And you're referring to the parable in Matthew 13, right? @avant-garde

@tyme

For the person living it, it is the doubt for what they believe to be truth, though for the outsider it could be better said to be a seed of faith.

And I only realised the connection I was making to Matthew 13 when I had finished writing that last post.

For me, all I long for is for my beliefs, what I was taught as a child and in my upbringing, to be proven wrong, because what became our reality became what we believed to be true.

Now l know we all have different histories and different truths that we need to challenge, but dare I say it, the truth that I've held for so long about me? That I'm a worthless disgusting human being who would've been better off staying dead when I was born. That I'm too far gone that who the heck would want me, that it's not like I'm worth anything.

That's the truth I've lived with, hence the word "doubt"

I'm sorry you didn't get it.

Ahhhh @avant-garde ! Got it. But I'll need to meditate on that more. I was thinking you were referring to Matthew 13 the whole time!

I appreciate you sharing that and for sharing your perspective of doubt. It makes a lot more sense.

Thank you for sharing!