Running

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@avant-garde wrote:

@tyme

Chapter 30 - "Christ touched the untouchable when he touched our sin"

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Beautiful @avant-garde

Thinking about you. Hope you are okay.

@tyme

Asking for help shouldn't have conditions attached to let them help me more than I'm comfortable

I hope you find space to know that you are in charge. You have spoken up before and I'm sure you will be able to again.

I'm here if you need company @avant-garde

When was the last time you treated yourself to a happy meal?

@tyme

It's different when it comes to people from church, my trauma kicks in and I revert to doing what I'm told, I did today already.

I'm continually interested in your relationship with people at church. It seems to be such a trigger in so many ways. Have you been going to this gathering for a long time? Is it the sermons that keep you there @avant-garde ?

Please dont answer any questions you are not comfortable answering. I absolutely respect that.

@tyme

It is actually the people believe it or not.

I've been in a Westminster Presbyterian with too many that know me and sent me back to my parents and believe me to be an insane liar.

The Baptist are hit and miss in their theology.

The denomination I'm in now is very similar to the Westminster Presbyterian and I know the points in which are non-negotiable with me.

The church of Christ, they're the church of my childhood.

I am not one who believes in tongues

I am not one who believes in prophesy

I am not one that believes in the baptism of the holy spirit.

There are too few churches that are aligned with my non-negotiables.

I have been at this church 6 years, the longest I've been anywhere.

I know their deep love for me

But I also know how much they suck at showing it in a way that doesn't terrify me.

It is in this church that I've begun to heal Tyme, in this church that I've come to trust the leadership and build community, even if they overstep more often than not.

It is in this church that God is using me to reach the naive and uneducated for what it means to support an orphan.

If not me then who

Thank you for sharing this @avant-garde . Wow. It's the people that keep you, yet it's the people who misunderstand you the most. I'm so so glad that this is the place where you've begun to heal. That is most important.

After all, 2 Cor 5:1 says the Church is a building not made with hands, right?

Once again, thank you for sharing and clarifying.

@tyme

Every church I've been in has misunderstood me to some degree, this one at least doesn't put me in danger.

You didn't expect it to be the people that keep me there did you?

Totally not the people @avant-garde . I thought it was the sermons, the hymns or something that keep you there. Because I remember you mentioning how you've told them how to help you when you have a seizure and they don't listen, and some of the things they have said.

Then again, I'm guess it's only a handful?

Approx how many people attend? Would you say there is anyone you can reach out to or that you are closer to?

@tyme

The person today is one of the ones I'm closest to, but he recently became a deacon and the position has gone to his head. He's the one I'm most likely to stand up to though.

The sermon this morning was triggering, then (we'll call him *Charming, as in Prince Charming, very up himself, he's a lawyer) approaching Charming to ask for help clearing out my storage unit only to be told "this is what asking for my help means".