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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

I feel like a squishy ball trapped in a locked metal cage that's being kicked around by a giant against a mountain

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Quite an image @avant-garde the helplessness and chaotic tumbling of it all is a very striking visual.

(づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

I'm so glad to have peer group back on this week, therapy too, there's been so much and still so much

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Oh yay awesome @avant-garde was that today or still upcoming?

How has your Wednesday been?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

Peer group is tomorrow

I feel like my head is screaming

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Aww rough @avant-garde 💜

Do you feel like you need to scream some of it out?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

I often get nervous with physical displays of perceived negative emotion, anger isn't something I express outwardly, normally I internalise it, that it's my fault.

But yes, maybe

In response to: Running

Re: Running

Hello @avant-garde!

What's been happening in your world over the past couple of days? ✨

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@AuntGlow

Saw Jasmine, finished a jigsaw puzzle, had a seizure, said goodbye to my case manager and now have therapy

You?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Seeing Jasmine must have been really lovely. How was she feeling today? @avant-garde

A seizure! My gosh, that sounds so scary. Does this happen often? 💛

How did it feel to say goodbye to your case manager?

Therapy sounds like it came at a good time after all of this! Was it a supportive session for you?

I tried to take it easy over the past couple of days - I saw my best friend and we watched Wicked: For Good. Have you seen it?

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