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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

The museum tour guide this morning shared more about Ireland than he did about the exhibits

Content/trigger warning
He said there's a brothel tour available in town and highly recommended we check it out

The other museum this afternoon was good though

I put sunscreen on first thing this morning too

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde lol was he Irish? I mean I love me some random facts but that sounds quite random! That recommendation is also... a little sus 😅

Learn/see anything particularly cool or memorable?

Oh gladness, yes the sun is super bitey today 😵

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

The guide mentioned that his photo might be there...

Given my history here... oh gosh...

I need help grounding

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

That's intense @avant-garde - are you somewhere you feel like you could stop and tap into your senses? Like can you find a quiet corner, maybe do some breathing ~

Maybe find some ways to remind yourself you are safe and out of reach of those memories, some affirmations or something?

You're not alone hun 💜

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

The breathing gif helped

I think I need more hydralyte

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Gladness @avant-garde glad I bookmarked that one.

Hydralyte is always good! Hope you're feeling a little more tethered hun?

Are you in a hotel or something at the moment?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

A little yes, headache though, l don't know if I have ibuprofen with me though.

I'm staying in a small unit that doesn't match the photographs or the amenities is claims to offer where the internet died about an hour ago and so glad I have my own to notify the owner

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

I knew I had strong ties to this place, I didn't expect it to be quite this bad though

Content/trigger warning
The things they used are here

Poetry it is... this place is making me feel sick like nothing else has

In response to: Running

Re: Running

hey @Jynx, are you able to tell me how to unsubscribe from getting messages about this thread? I thought I'd done it but I am still getting unwanted notifications. Thanks gorgeous xo

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@ENKELI hmm... I know email notifications have been going awry, so it could be a side effect of that. I checked your subscriptions and favourites from our end, and it says you're not subscribed to this thread anymore. Are they just email notifications or are you getting them on the forums too?

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