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Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor25 Nov 2024, 10:10 pm AEDT

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

Ru-beeModerator19 Dec 2025, 5:42 pm AEDT

Re: Running

Hey @avant-garde I just wanted to check in before I finish to see how the day has gone for you?

In response to: Re: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor19 Dec 2025, 6:00 pm AEDT

Re: Running

@Ru-bee

Talked to blue knot and had a Christmas event I didn't hate

I got to get covered in dog hair

In response to: Re: Running

JynxModerator19 Dec 2025, 6:11 pm AEDT

Re: Running

Hiya @avant-garde just been reading along - sorry it's been so rough, sounds like a very tumultuous time for you over last few days.

Glad to hear you got covered in dog hair haha what kind of dog?

In response to: Re: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor19 Dec 2025, 6:20 pm AEDT

Re: Running

@Jynx

Black Labrador

Also remembering what shopping is like at Christmas and remembering that I don't like it

In response to: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor19 Dec 2025, 9:11 pm AEDT

Re: Running

He was my friend... we met at uni volunteering...

TW: SA

Content/trigger warning

My church had abandoned me, saying I was lying and crazy and to be avoided... I had only started remembering a few months ago... my church turned their backs on me... I was having seizures and was out for hours at a time... I ran to him... let's call him Judas...

He was there, he was my friend, I trusted him... he sexually assaulted me whilst in a very vulnerable state of mind [edited by moderator]

My church had abandoned me, saying I was lying and crazy and to be avoided... I had only started remembering a few months ago... my church turned their backs on me... I was having seizures and was out for hours at a time... I ran to him... let's call him Judas...He was there, he was my friend, I trusted him... he sexually assaulted me whilst in a very vulnerable state of mind [edited by moderator]

In response to: Re: Running

JynxModerator20 Dec 2025, 4:07 pm AEDT

Re: Running

The shops this time of year are indeed nightmarish @avant-garde I'm dreading having to go but I'm all outta crumpets ☹️

How are you travelling today hun?

In response to: Re: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor20 Dec 2025, 4:32 pm AEDT

Re: Running

@Jynx

About to head home, thinking I need to pick up something to eat though

In response to: Re: Running

JynxModerator20 Dec 2025, 5:06 pm AEDT

Re: Running

@avant-garde ooh yum. Do you get 'analysis paralysis' when choosing what to get for food? I think I got some right now... 😅

In response to: Re: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor20 Dec 2025, 5:13 pm AEDT

Re: Running

@Jynx

Checked red rooster and thought, no I'll eat at home. I have now eaten and finished my first 1.3L of water.

I have a goal for everyday, it's not a certain amount of water, it's drinking water until my body shows me it has enough, if you know what I mean by that.

I picked up my Christmas present hamper today, do you want to see?

In response to: Re: Running

JynxModerator20 Dec 2025, 6:11 pm AEDT

Re: Running

@avant-garde are you talking about a particular bodily signal? I can only think of needing to pee a lot.... 🤣

Maybe I don't drink enough water!!

Sure, would love to see your hamper!! Whatcha got?

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