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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

I'm pretty sure prepping for the inspection next week is going to keep me busy enough!

Audiobooks and jewellery making is also happening

The community here helps for the most part, but I can't say this last week it hasn't just added to the stress

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde ohhhh me too 😑 Inspections are the worst!! Makes me feel very small sometimes, like I have to 'prove' that I'm on top of everything.

Do you have much to do to prepare? I think I can do the inside of the house...OR the yard 🙃

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

Not ready to think about the list, that'll come tomorrow

We're just surviving today

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

So valid @avant-garde. Sending some hugs your way hun 💜

(づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡

What's been on the cards for today? Hope you've been able to find yourself some comforts 😊

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

Church

Movie + presents with my two sisters

Jasmine hated her present as expected

Church again

Naive preacher badly triggered me

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Oh hectic @avant-garde sounds like quite a full-on day. I hope there were some wholesome moments with your sisters, even with Jasmine disliking her gift 😅

Hope you're back at, or on your way back to baseline now after church. You deserve to catch a break, I tell you what.

Sending you vibes of gentleness and comfort for the week ahead 💜

And a kitty!

ᓚ₍⑅^..^₎♡

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

Jasmine is 32 and still lives at home, she's fighting independence. We got her stuff for her new home for when she moves out.

I filled her advent calendar with fun stuff

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Hi @avant-garde have you read my message? If you don't want to reply that's fine, I won't interact with you anymore if you don't want to.

I hope you are okay

God bless

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@ENKELI

I'm not there yet.

I forgive you

And I'll get there

But I'm not there yet.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde no idea what you mean by not being there.

But all good. Moving on.

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