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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

Re: Running

@tyme

Haven't eaten yet, soon though

I'm more likely to have a shower to help ground.

A friend of mine said something today that fascinated me "people give you unsolicited advice because they're uncomfortable with your situation"

I hadn't quite thought of it that way before, but she's right, but now I'm wondering how do I respond to it because I do have people in my life who like to throw advice around...

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

That's a really interesting one @avant-garde

I guess it's about what you think about the advice they give you. I don't think it's in all black/white categories as people lie in the grey area.

What do you think?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@tyme

I'm thinking of one guy in particular who is trying to play nice but does think of himself higher than he ought.

I was homeless at the time and he commented that I have a lot of takeaway bags in my car, then commented that I should get tinted windows if I didn't want people looking, then I remarked that he should have some integrity...

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Pretty presumptuous of someone to say that @avant-garde ...

Do you HAVE to interact with this person?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@tyme regrettably yes, he's a deacon in my church, but he's a privileged spoon fed well off male who wouldn't know struggle if it hit him with a baseball bat

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Well can I say he clearly doesn't know what deaconship is? Look at the deacons in the bible. They supported and visit those who were vulnerable and less fortunate. They served and helped out... @avant-garde

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@tyme he's great at the physical side of the role he just doesn't know when to keep his mouth shut and his opinions to himself

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Fair enough. Then again, I guess you have to take what you can and leave the rest? My brother in law is a deacon. He is hopeless at practical things, but he has a very kind heart and will support people in the church @avant-garde

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@tyme the other deacon is much more kind hearted and we were friends before he became a deacon so he's the one I go to for things and the other understands that

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

So it's give and take I guess @avant-garde ?

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