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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

And that intolerances don't compare to allergies which is ridiculous because they can be far worse and have much more severe consequences as they aren't instantly identifiable.

It is a 1c coin on a chain that I got from the 'for King and Country' concert I went to last year that symbolises that every girl and woman is priceless. The proceeds go to helping women escape sexual trafficking.

There is a song, movie and book, all of which I have.

It reminds me that God sees that I'm priceless and that I was and am worth rescuing and saving.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde 100%. It's awful how often folks are made to feel like they're being 'difficult' or something... ugh.

OMG I love that!! Such an important message hey, no monetary value can compare to the miracle of life. This warms me to read 😊

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

The sermon just got super nerdy, he talked numbers to emphasise his point about the structure of Psalm 23. I like nerdy though I see others having complaints about it.

I have tonight's poem topic, inconvenient love, ought to be potent

In response to: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde @Jynx while I have you both my darlings, I want to update you on your plants just quickly.

Avant sweetie Bunnings lied to me and said they had violets in stock and they don't. Not happy. I will check at the nursery when I next see mum.

Now Jynxy what are your thoughts on Gerberas? I bought a couple and they made me think of you because they are bright and beautiful 😍

Let me know what you think

 

In response to: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx I am doing chicken and leek risotto. The hardest put is slicing the leek! I have a wonderful rice cooker/risotto maker that I use. I put the chicken and leek in and set it to sauté, then change it to the risotto setting and add the rice and stock. I also have a secret ingredient that I add and then when it's ready I top it with grated parmesan.

@avant-garde have you seen the movie Priceless? I recommend it 🙂

I missed out on the necklace when 4 King & Country came to Perth the first time. We were the last show on their tour so they'd run out. When they came to RAC arena I had a ticket but ended up not going as it brought up memories of ex friend. The pain was still pretty fresh from her betrayal and I couldn't listen to the band for a long time.

I introduced ex friend to the band and she loved them as much as I do.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde Oh we have that in common haha love when things get super nerdy!

Colour me intrigued, that is a juicy topic indeed! Edit - are you posting that in the poetry thread @avant-garde ?

@ENKELI oh they're GORGEOUS, love that bright orange!! It's funny, in my style my colour palette favours purples, blues, and greens, and they're usually my fav colours for most things - but when it comes to flowers, I am a sucker for pinks and oranges.

Also I didn't know rice cookers could do that! Or is it specially made and if I tried that I'd break my rice cooker? 😂

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde I need to read before I post. Ignore my comment about have you seen the movie Priceless, I see you have.

I'd like to get the book too.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx I don't know why but the colours made me think of you. If you are happy with the Gerberas then they are now known as Jynx and Jynx Too 🫂

I got talked into buying my rice/risotto cooker by a very good sales person in Retravision (like Harvey Norman) and while it was nearly 4 times the cost of a basic rice cooker I am glad I got it now. I don't know if you could make it in a standard rice cooker.

Below is a pic of my cooker. They are no longer made...naturally, and have been replaced with a multi cooker that is twice the price...naturally!

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Use my words

Well I hated that

TW: strong language

Content/trigger warning

I hated the fu¢king b!tchy women with no respect for the presenters refuse to shut up and instead when one of the centre staff come in, complains to her "but we can't see" and I get told to move a second time and then a third in the middle of the presentation when they're not even paying attention.

I felt like telling her "I'll move if you shut up"

But no, I'm the mature one here even though she's 50, she behaves like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

Stupid beep.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde to be honest I wouldn't be able to hold back, I'd be inclined to speak my mind. I have not yet learned my lesson about being bullied and treated like shite when I do speak up.

ex friend was allowed to bad mouth me in our church but I was the one ostracised. She got her own back though and did or said something that the church called her out on so she had to leave our church. I only just found this out a few weeks ago and I am still trying to decide whether I want to go back to that church.

You are the mature one. Women like that annoy me to no end and it's frustrating when they act like children and disturb other people. Like they have some privilege or something.

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