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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

Re: Running

That's rough as @avant-garde it really can rattle us to the core to hear things like that. Especially when we have visceral memory evidence that contradicts it.

I hear you. I always cherish meeting Christians like yourself who actually seem to embody the values that the Bible teaches us - loving thy neighbour for starters. You can't victim-blame someone and then say you love them in the same sentence. Because love should not ever be conditional.

How are you feeling this arvo? Hope you don't have much else to attend to and can just chill?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

One more church service in a few hours, briefly drifted off to sleep listening to Harry Potter, still shaking though

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde glad you got a little rest, even if things are still feeling really heavy. How are you feeling about the service this arvo?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

The sermon being read in the second service, the reader is very gentle and considerate, always attempting to understand and conscious of how sermons can affect me. I prefer triggering sermons in the first service to be honest because it allows less time for rumination and further support if required.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde love that, so it's like the arvo can lift your spirits a bit after the morning. Hope it's a goodun 😊

You in 'waiting limbo' or you enjoying your downtime?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx working on a rainbow bracelet for me

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Cute @avant-garde 😍

Beads, weaving, what's your medium?

In response to: Re: Running

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Shell beads on memory wire

@Jynx

I think the description answers your question

Memory wire is my go to

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Haha you bet I had to google that @avant-garde but seems like a really cool way to design jewellery! I love the bracelet too, so many colouuuurrrssss 😍

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

With the little butterfly charm too

Officially at church so we'll see how I go

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