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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

Re: Running


@avant-garde wrote:

And then it gets worse and then it gets worse and then it gets worse


Hey @avant-garde just popping by to say hi, saw this. You ok?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx no

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde aww hun 🥺

Let us know if you wanna chat about anything, or come hang out in the social chat if you're up for it? It's totally okay if you're not 😉

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx not up for social

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde I honestly commend you on utilising links to avoid having to re-type/re-tell your story hun. I think it's very clever.

I appreciate the context. Very intense day tomorrow by the sounds of it. And lots going on in brain.

I hope you can get some rest tonight, and that there are some glimmers and wholesome moments in your Sunday. If you need to decompress I should be round in the arvo.

Will leave you with a hug for now - no pressure to respond ofc 😉💜

(づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

I think dreamy feels bad, please check on her, it's not her fault... I just don't feel ready to communicate that with her just now.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

Content/trigger warning
The first point was the worst... going into definitions of sexual immorality, the greek root word of pornography... examples of the definitions... it's the kind of sermon that makes me feel condemned and disgusting...

But I survived... though church shouldn't be about survival

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde I can imagine a lot of internal conflict can arise during something like that. Any parts of the sermon sitting heavy that you think would be worth unpacking?

Gentle hugs

(づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

There was no mention of when the fault was one sided, like the victim is always guilty

Judgement by omission

It makes me feel sick how naive some Christians can be.

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