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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

Re: Running

@ENKELI thank you

@Jynx

I'm glad church is over for today

But I do feel like I'm going to be physically sick

In response to: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx aw Jynxy my favourite! It's time we got you a plant I think.

Thank you for your kind words, I do struggle at times with what to say, especially when I'm not feeling my physical or mental best (like all of us) and I consider it a blessing to be able to interact and offer kindness and support to those who deserve more than the hell they've been handed.

You too have offered me different insights to mental health too and I am so grateful to you for that xo

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde I hope you get the chance to just breathe and look after your wellbeing this evening. I'm so sorry you're feeling ill and I hope that feeling passes quickly for you sweetheart.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@ENKELI

This is a normal church trigger response for me... I hate that it's normal...

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde I hate that it's normal for you too. You are so brave, I wish I had even a quarter of your courage and strength.

In response to: Re: Running

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@ENKELI @Jynx

I get to go to a festival tomorrow with one of my best friends at least...

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde @ENKELI honestly I think as the night goes on, the quality of conversation rises, and the forums get busier at the same time, and then *blink* suddenly it's been two hours 😵

@avant-garde I'm sorry that this experience is that kind of familiar. Like @ENKELI said, it's a testament to the inner fire you possess. I imagine it's exhausting.

That's so coooool!! What are you looking forward to the most?

@ENKELI omg you're so sweet!! I dunno if I've ever told you my fav flower is jasmine? But I also trust you to pick a plant you think is Jynxy!! You are adorable.... maybe I will name a succulent after you! Do you have a fav succulent?

I'll name one after you too @avant-garde - if you want!

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@ENKELI you have plants, I have plushies

I have a dreamy plushie... I think I already have one in mind for Jynx... the one with it's tongue poking out... I'll think about one for you

@Jynx I'm allergic to jasmine, I like violets, roses and sunflowers and yes I'd like one named after me.

I like the aloe vera variety that has the pretty little flower too

I'm excited to spend time with my best friend and see the animals, they have a cattery.

I'm also keen for all the little stalls.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde you'll be next in line for a plant, believe me. I'm thinking violets.

The festival sounds like fun, and seeing all the moggies at the cattery, that's my idea of a great afternoon lol!

I love your idea of plushies, I started collecting beanie boos a few years back, mostly penguins and cats. My spirit animal I joke is a penguin - they like the cold and so do I, they are short and slightly round, so am I, they can't fly and nor can I...! And I just love cats.

@Jynx I love all sorts of succulents, I have a Flapjack that I have to remember not to water too often! Plus aloe vera, they grow like weeds. I love the flowers on them too.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

You'll have a SANE Garden soon @ENKELI !

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