Running

@Jynx

https://saneforums.org/t5/Recovery-Club/Peer-Support-Groups/td-p/1721722

@avant-garde done!! May or may not make it more visible but could also tag some community guides maybe? I think oaktree is also keen on peer support...

One of those nights where I think of everything

Everything I've lost and who I am as a result

How tragic I feel my life is... I miss my mum something fierce, using a phantom account to check for game updates on my dad's Facebook page

Checking the cemetery records to see if my mum's name comes up

I miss her and no matter how much I love my church and the people I put around me, they'll never replace what I never had.

Last night was... I don't know how to describe it... but I don't know if I'd call it positive...

I had Bible study and I typically find it challenging but enjoyable...

Last night was different, we discussed revelation and a comment was made that I don't know what it's like to be a mum... I'm sorry but I do.

TW: child loss, rape

The conversation continued though later on with a discussion around unborn children in heaven and I couldn't share my experience... my hope that mine are waiting for me... that they'll know me as their mum... to simply meet my darling little ones who never got to experience the world...

It's the memories that hurt more than the conversation... memories I often handle alone...

hey @avant-garde i'm so sorry to hear how invalidated you felt by the comment. you know yourself better than they know you. i can see how this topic would've been really heavy and difficult with those memories pouring in. it's okay to pause and feel your feels. we're sitting with you.

sending you gentle hugs 💙

And then the day gets worse because I get told to duck off for my neurodivergent tendencies

@rav3n

I am emotionally fragile and get told to duck off. I hate it

you did not deserve to be told to 'duck off' @avant-garde i'm sorry they treated you this way. how are you holding up today? is it a busy day for you?

@rav3n

The whole explanation is over here

I have peer support group later today but just recovering from the last 2 days

There was this too

Then there was Bible study

All in the last 42 hours

oooft @avant-garde it's tough when things happen back to back. makes sense that you'd need some time to process and recover from them.

i hope the peer support group goes well and provides you some space to work through this too!

about the supermarket situation - i can see that the idea of him following you around brought out a trauma response and made you feel uncomfortable and unsafe. i see where you're coming from. i'm someone who doesn't trust people easily so i would've felt uneasy in your situation too, and my brain would re-analyse this afterwards. you did the best you could in the moment 💙