Running

@Jynx

Hard on multiple levels... see didn't end up at the gardens, we ended up at IKEA and then went back to my brother's place in which I went through some of the stuff I rescued when my church believed I didn't need it... when they threw it in the skip bin...

Oh I am sorry @avant-garde a day in crowds and fluro lights sounds very draining, especially compared to a day wandering through gardens 😢

That sounds like an intensely emotional process hun. And lots of mixed feelings too?

@Jynx

Yep, after a church service where it praised dads and no one checked in on me and then my brother's mum wanting to talk about all my stuff and I got to practice saying no and no and no and no and no

I am so depleted

Aww darlin @avant-garde it's rough when no one stops to check in on us hey. Glad to hear you stood your ground with your boundaries, but whoooo boy it woulda been exhausting, grating even. Glad today is over 💜

I hope that you are able to get off to slumber okay tonight, and that tomorrow feels a little lighter 🤞

Niiiight!

⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

head is screaming, heart is ble€ding

what they did to me

said I was possessed

just by being me

tortured soul that I am

not worth who I was

pain it is the violence

that my heart is ble€ding for

possessed they did also call me

unable to do what's right

the screams so loud and visceral

"they didn't do what's right"

made to destroy and burn

all I once held dear

to be who they wanted

not to just be me

selfish if I didn't share

being made to give

fight the pain inside me

destroy my will to live

burn the words inside my heart

watch them go up in flames

the screaming in my ears

just so much hurt

they shouldn't get away with it!

what they did to me!

abuse, neglect, destruction!

of all that I could be!

they didn't help they hurt me!

from who I once then was!

they tore my heart out, destroyed my soul!

at the beautiful heart I was!

destroy what I created

say it is demon possessed

that I'm selfish for making jewellery!

to show a little grace!

just another puppet

where they had pulled the strings

another adult they abused

another with broken wings

@Jynx

Hugs @avant-garde - and ty for sharing. Incredible way with words as always 💜

(づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡

@Jynx

Why does healing hurt so much?

Alas, I don't have much of an answer for you @avant-garde - one of life's mysteries I think, pain. I do know that growing pains are normal, and often we find that they are worth it 💜

@Jynx

A lot changed this week... maybe a bit too much... I tried reaching out and talking about it yesterday and made a new thread and everything but it didn't get the response I was expecting...

That's rough @avant-garde - I could reply to the post if you like, might get a little more traffic? Do you have a link/thread name?