Running

When others post in this thread in relation to a topic I've begun talking about, I find it difficult because my head sees things differently. I am still adjusting to being neurodivergent and with this particular thread I see it as my safe place to talk about what's going on with me.

In previous instances I have become defensive when others have not read the context and made humour or shown aggression in a difficult time for me and it has further escalated that threads of mine having been locked.

I don't want to see that happen to this thread because this is where I write my story to feel heard. Therefore @holdinghope5 I request this thread be moved to that section to avoid further confusion if possible

Yes, this is a public forum, but like every one of us, we have our safe places here, including you @ArraDreaming, and I know father's day is hard, but maybe there's is a place to start a separate discussion about that.

@Jynx

Righto mate. Well you were talking about Father’s Day was hard for you and how much you hate it and I was joining on that topic but whatever dude. Carry on talking to yourself because I won’t be contributing anymore.
[edited by moderator]
Anyway. Cya.

Hey @avant-garde @ArraDreaming

The first thing I want to acknowledge is that as far as we can tell, no one in this situation has malicious intent and no one has done wrong. From our perspective this is a miscommunication emerging from conflicting needs.

A gentle reminder - the Sane Forums are 'public-facing', meaning anyone, with or without an account, can read through all of the posts (except within the hubs). Members are welcome to create their own threads, however there are no rules against any other forums member replying to these threads. Members can of course respectfully communicate a boundary around what they are needing - including asking for some space, or not to be tagged - but staff are not here to 'police' where and when members decide to post on the forums.

The forums are also not a space for one to one support from staff. We will always do our best to connect with and be there for our members and address any conflicts or risk, but we cannot provide intensive support for any individual member. Our role is more about facilitating community connections, and so we would always rather see members supporting one another than us jumping in.

When it comes to creating a 'safe space' in a digital online community, there are always going to be limiting factors and conflicting ideas about what that looks like. The reality is, we simply cannot provide a 100% 'safe space' because that can look so different for everyone.

We all have our own battles to fight, which sometimes results in misattunement and conflicting needs. Something we always encourage is for all of us to 'assume kindness'. Even if someone has said something that seems rude or triggering, it is more than likely that it is simply a different way of communicating. We can also use this when navigating boundaries - sometimes having a boundary expressed to us, like asking us to step away, can feel like rejection. But boundaries are how we try to keep people in our lives, by communicating our needs.

If I am gonna throw my two cents in, it would be to say that I think the two of you have a lot of shared experience, but very different ways of dealing with it. I can understand entirely how that might result in moments like what happened last night.

So, if you would like a bit of support in unpacking this together and working towards resolution, let us know - we are happy to help out. If you need to simply take space from one another, that is also legit. We are here for you both regardless.

On some level @ArraDreaming I think you do care - but like I said it's okay to take space from the situation too. Feel free to reach out to us if you have any further concerns mate 💜

@Jynx

Hi

@avant-garde hey! 👋😁

@Jynx @ArraDreaming

I feel like crying

Aww hun, today would've been so challenging for you @avant-garde

Gentle hugs are coming at you through the aether. And if there's anything else you might be needing from forumland tonight, just let us know 💜

(づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡