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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx I had my ear nose and throat appointment earlier and he did a hearing test and he liked my spreadsheet to track my hearing loss and it hasn't gotten worse, we have a plan if the infections persist that it would require surgery to implant a bone conduction receiver that I'd just become part robot

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde oh I've always wanted to become a cyborg.... hahaha

I'm guessing that would be an expensive surgery tho!

In response to: Running

Re: Running

Good on you for getting through! @avant-garde What's on for the rest of the day/evening?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx public system, if deemed necessary from recurring infections the government would cover it

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Ru-bee

You must be finishing shortly, Tyme will be on soon, we've been talking about my grandma.

I have to check the digital side of the quiz and just chilling, they say to allow 4 hours for hospital appointments, I waited 5 minutes, but it means I cleared my day

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

That's a relief @avant-garde

Then you can claim 'The govt made me into a cyborg!!'

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

I'm tired now, I feel like it's been a long few days and a lot of emotion dysregulation from all the triggers, it's nice to have time just to be my introverted self

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Yeah for sure @avant-garde there's a particular kind of peace stemming from 'no one is needing anything from me rn' hey.

Unmasking time!! Hehe 💜

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

Home is where you can be your inexcusable self, I feel at home here

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde precisely!! Home is where I get to make all my weird little noises 😊

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