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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

Re: Running


I sung in front of my church tonight... yep that happened... terrifying as it was apparently nobody noticed me shaking


Really proud of you for doing this!! @avant-garde

I know it felt scary in the moment, but how do you feel now? 🤩

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@AuntGlow

I hate being the centre of attention, I was sitting next to a little girl and I sat down after and said "can I be invisible now" she said no

I drove home without the radio on for a change, needed the silence

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

It can feel really exposing, can't it? @avant-garde

Silence sounds like it was regulating in this moment.

How are things feeling for you today?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@AuntGlow

Emotionally frustrated with an idiot driver that I happen to know... but a lot more settled than last night

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Oh, that is frustrating!! @avant-garde

Though, I am glad you are feeling more settled tonight.

What do you have on for this week? 💛

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@AuntGlow

I asked for advice over here with no response

Too many appointments

Not enough days

Had to cancel psychologist as the wait is shorter than for the dentist

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

I just responded @avant-garde!

Waiting for appointments can be exhausting and overwhelming - I hear you.

What appointment is most important for you to go to at the moment?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@AuntGlow

They called first thing this morning with a cancellation which tells me that I made the right decision

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Oh, I am sorry to hear this @avant-garde.

That's very frustrating...

How are you taking care of yourself today? 💛

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@AuntGlow

No, I kept the dentist appointment and asked my psychologist to let me know about any cancellations.

My psychologist called the following morning with a cancellation

Not frustrating at all

I made the right decision

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