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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

2,301 - 2,310 of 3,558

In response to: Running

Re: Running

hey @avant-garde how can we help? what's been happening for you?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@rav3n

Could we maybe email? I don't want to discourage others from getting help but I also need to feel heard and understood and I'm not in a space where I can do both those things.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

hey @avant-garde i've sent through a check-in email 😊

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

i'm so sorry to hear about your ear infection @avant-garde, i can absolutely see how terrifying and uncomfortable that treatment would be - and i'm proud of you for speaking up and letting the nurse and doc know.

is there no alternative treatment for the infection? although the compromise treatment is still uncomfortable and triggering, i am glad that they did shorten the length for you.

what would be some ways to make the treatment process a lil less overwhelming? would it possible to have someone sit with you (maybe a nurse or friend) when you use the drops? or perhaps, is there something that can help distract you (whether it's a song, movie, fidget toy, etc)?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@rav3n

I told them there's tablets instead but they said no, they have side effects.

My doctor will likely give me a script for them on Wednesday anyway, he understands.

My head wasn't in a place to problem solve.

A nurse sitting with me isn't an option, it's considered a waste of time.

My friends don't have the time for that either

Music doesn't help those who can't hear

I think I may have found something though that I find infuriatingly fascinating and fun.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

You either make Einstein's face or 9 little Einstein faces

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

glad your doc gets it @avant-garde

it's hard when you've got limited resources and options, but you're making it work with what you've got - and that counts for a lot.

omg that looks cool! i've never seen anything like it, does the individual lil images change as you move the boxes around?? where'd you find it?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@rav3n

Have a look at the two pictures and see what different little pictures you've got and that'll answer your first question

I found the games world clearance store in my state and I bought it to amuse myself when I was homeless the first time.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde and i thought rubiks cubes were hard... this one would definitely have me scratching my head for while.

have you solved it before? does it take long to do?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@rav3n

It's one I've never managed to solve, I also have a metal twist thing that I haven't solved yet either

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