FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

2,291 - 2,300 of 3,558
1...229230231...356

In response to: Running

tymeModerator

Re: Running

Oh yes @avant-garde ! I remember you mentioning that! That sounds so hard and it means it's hard to eat out too.

I know someone who has something similar and they had to drink a lot of gatorade and stuff.

Are you okay?

In response to: Re: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor

Re: Running

@tyme

Yeah, I checked the ingredients before I left the shopping centre. It was a chemist I don't usually go to who don't know their basic chemistry

In response to: Re: Running

tymeModerator

Re: Running

Are you feeling okay @avant-garde ?

In response to: Re: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor

Re: Running

@tyme

For the most part

In response to: Re: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor

Re: Running

Today was all a bit too much...

The nurse came over and she was lovely and I really liked her.

TW: sexual references

Content/trigger warning
the mention of the pack on my arm having a balloon in it like a condom was the first difficult thing...
Then she had to take photos of the area...
but you see... because of the swelling and the size of the area... I need help applying the ointment...
So that meant laying on my bed with the area exposed... so she could apply the ointment...

I think my case manager is right... I think I need to call my states specialised service to talk about this...

In response to: Re: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor

Re: Running

@rav3n

I have a review tomorrow at the hospital, the bloods will determine if the Baxter pump continues or whether I'll be discharged to under my doctors care.

In response to: Re: Running

rav3nSenior Contributor

Re: Running

i see yesterday was quite a lot! have you decided if you'll call the states specialised service? @avant-garde got my fingers crossed that today will turn out better for you

In response to: Re: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor

Re: Running

@rav3n

I did call them last night and he took me through an EMDR practice that I was surprised helped.

The nurse will be here sometime in the next 90 minutes, we'll see how I go, but at least it's earlier than yesterday and all my washing is done.

In response to: Re: Running

rav3nSenior Contributor

Re: Running

that's so good that the EMDR exercise helped!! @avant-garde it's the same nurse as yesterday, right?

also this random, but i came across a claw machine with stitch and angel plushies... i had 0 success, it didn't even hold on for more than a second. but i thought of you, and i wish i had your claw machine skills!

In response to: Re: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor

Re: Running

@rav3n I need some help

I'm not ok

2,291 - 2,300 of 3,558
1...229230231...356

SANE Forums is published by SANE with funding from the Australian Government Department of Health.

SANE Forums does not provide crisis support.
If you need immediate assistance, please see available crisis services.

Learn more about SANE and SANE services at sane.org

Back to top
SANE logo
Australian Commission on Safety and Quality in Health Care NSQDMH Accreditation logo

Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.

Donate Now
Aboriginal flag
Torres Strait Islander flag
LGBT flag
Transgender flag

SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.

Back to top
SANE logo
Australian Commission on Safety and Quality in Health Care NSQDMH Accreditation logo

Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.

Donate Now
Aboriginal flag
Torres Strait Islander flag
LGBT flag
Transgender flag

SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.

SANE is a public company limited by guarantee and registered tax-exempt charity with DGR (Deductible Gift Recipient) status.

Charity ABN 92 006 533 606. Donations of $2 or more are tax deductible. SANE, PO Box 1226, Carlton VIC 3053.