Running

@avant-garde , to be honest, it's a bit hard for me to understand this because I've never known a church to be like this, so my apologies - my brain is still trying to work it out.

It sounds like there are so many activators at the church. I guess, I find myself questioning, how does a person keep themselves well?

I'm listening.

@tyme

What do you mean by "activators"

Activators are triggers @avant-garde

@tyme

Yes church is very triggering for me, but I've tried life without it and it doesn't work. Believe it or not, this church is the least triggering I've been in

I'm not here to fix anything as I'm mindful that can be triggering sometimes. But if you ever want anything specifically, feel free to be explicit because I don't know what I don't know. @avant-garde

What do you think would be helpful for you at the moment? What can I do to support at this time?

@tyme

I'm not sure to be honest.

I've spent days, months, years hearing these messages same being treated like I don't know what's best for me, I just need someone to tell me the truth, validate how I'm feeling...

I guess the truth may be something we can never truly know. It might be something you have to discover for yourself @avant-garde . I really don't know.

But what I can do it sit and listen and you let you know that you are doing the best you can. And yes we can certainly validate you too.

It is totally understandable that it can be so frustrating to have people treat you in a way that is so triggering - despite being told not to. It reminds me of the time you had a seizure and they didn't follow the plan that you requested.

Also, do the age groups vary significantly at your church?

@tyme

It just added another layer of complexity to an already difficult situation.

It's like first it was B doing this, now it's C, that it feels like the males I let in at my church automatically think they know what's right in terms of what to keep and throw. While the women it's about my job and how I clean that they don't shut up about.

I mean C wants to set up a roster of "life skills training" like cooking and cleaning and helping make this place a home, but I want help with cooking and such, but cleaning? I know how to do that, I was employed to do that for 2 years. But my stuff? No, he can rack off because it'll just be the same, taking liberties and me feeling controlled like my voice doesn't matter.

And yes the age range is significant, it's a generational church

I'm hearing how frustrating that must've been for you @avant-garde and it's no wonder you were feeling so deflated.

So now, where to from here?

Is there a point in doing something more about it or can they stay in their small corner and you in yours (Do you know that song? "You in your small corner, and I in mine")?

Or will the focus just be on how to look after YOU.

What hymns are coming to mind? When peace like a river?

@tyme

I don't know that song

I'm not sure what hymns but I know the song that has become this season's anthem

"Place in this World" by for King and Country