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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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Re: Running

That's exactly how poetry should be. @avant-garde 🥰

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@AuntGlow

I cleared and collapsed my desk, that was the hardest bit, the rest is already kind of boxed into cubes

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Re: Running

It's getting to me... the stuff under my bed is stuff from when I was homeless... the memories are overwhelming and painful to pack and I pray so fervently that someone would understand what I'm going through right now

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Re: Running

Hey @avant-garde I wouldn't pretend to understand everything you're feeling right now, but I can absolutely empathise, listen, and do my best to hear and understand what you're feeling if you want to talk about it 💜

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Hi @avant-garde I’ve never been homeless so can’t relate in that way, but I have recently moved and can very much relate with finding things from various parts of my life, some being really difficult and challenging and finding myself looking at and reading things.

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@tyme

I feel horrible

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

I'm so so sorry to hear this. Anything I can do?

I was concerned about you because I hadnt seen you but I also respect if you wanted some alone time.

I'm here if you need anything.... I won't say "unpacking"... maybe 'packing'?

@avant-garde

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@tyme

I was pulling the stuff out from under my bed and it was a lot of the homeless stuff I collected.

In the basket there were still pieces of glass from when my car was broken into and I got a small sliver in my finger

Just remembering that time, it hurts a lot. I knew the emotional toll would be much worse than the physical one today, it's why I avoided under the bed.

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Awww @avant-garde . I just want to give you a hug. There's not much I can say, except I hear you.

I know first hand what it's like to have my space 'invaded'. And it's happened to me 3 times. I lived with that fear for a long time.

I just want you know I'm here if you need someone to sit with you.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@tyme

I just want a mum to tell me that everything is going to be ok

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