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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde

*starts frantically googling*

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

Kmart for the yoga block

I couldn't find accurate information for how the students told me to do it online

They told me when laying on my back, at the underwear line, left hand side at 90 degrees, right hand side at 45 degrees pointing down towards my heels.

But everyone's spine is different and so take the cut yoga block when you next see a chiro to get the right kind of blocking that is best for your spine.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Ooh lucky I am off to kmart tonight hehe

@avant-garde been thinking about trying acupuncture, you ever done so?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

Nope. Never. Trigger.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde legit.

Any plans for the rest of your weekend?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

Sorry can't

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde of course.

I was about to reply to you in the Soiree thread, but I can refrain from doing so and await a tag when you feel ready, if you prefer.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

I don't have to be silent anymore...

Content/trigger warning
When you're a torture survivor...
It took a long time for me to be able to get a blood test...
It took a longer time to allow anyone to touch me...
There are multiple ethnic medical treatments that can be misused to cause pain.
Acupuncture is one of them.

Fighting flashbacks...

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Thank you for not being silent @avant-garde

I am sorry too, because I have this nagging sense in the back of my brain that this particular topic has come up between us before, and I forgot. This wouldn't be the first time my forgetfulness has impacted important relationships in my life. So again, my apologies. I hope you know it wasn't intentional.

I can hear how much you've already done to work through the fears. I can hear how much they still impact you.

Would you like to try some grounding? Let us know how best to support you hun.

💜

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

Ground yes

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