Running

@avant-garde Your choice between -

Describe, with as much detail as possible, the room you're in - colours, shapes, patterns, textures, sounds, smells, etc

or,

Take a moment to visualise an environment in which you feel safe - could be a cottage in a forest, a cabin on the coast, a highrise building soaring above the city, a completely different world where mushrooms are bigger than houses - up to you. It's about trying to visualise as much detail as possible, including how it would feel to be physically in this safe space.

Or you can do both hehe 😋

You're not alone hun 💜

@Jynx

Just woke up with a start

My safe place is imaginary...

It is a vast white room with wooden timber flooring and ambient lighting. A large window that doesn't open and no visible door, no way for anyone to come in and hurt me.

Outside the window there's trees and a wide green open space where I can see the birds flying.

I have a wall of books and a comfy chair with a lamp and a cushion.

Safe in my isolated room with books to keep me company.

@avant-garde it sounds really lovely in there. I love that it is sealed away from any who would harm you!

What kinds of books? I hope you have one of those funky ladders on wheels to zoom around your library, and access alllll the best volumes on the top shelves 😊

@Jynx - assuming you missed the notification

No ladders required, a rainbow of books sorted by spine colour like in my friends office, and all different books from dystopian to historical.

Speaking of rainbows, I asked a friend of mine to knit me a soft baby blanket for all the little ones I've lost in a rainbow of colours... and she said yes

Been a very busy one tonight @avant-garde plus I'm flying solo... and I think I accidentally closed multiple tabs without responding cos... you're the third person to ask me if I missed a tag 😅

Am sorry.

I love that, hehe a rainbow book nook sounds absolutely magical!!

Oh wow, that is such a beautiful idea! And glad your friend is down, how incredibly special. I imagine it will take some time, from the little I know about knitting, but feel free to share - if you feel comfy doing so.

I hope you are feeling a little more connected/grounded hun. If not, the book nook calls 😊

Hope the rest of your night is chill, and I will catch you tomorrow if you're about.

Trying out a new hug...

(つˆ⌣ˆ)つ

@Jynx

I need parameters.

I am aware of the guideline of pressuring a response.

I am aware that double tagging you has been seen as that.

I was made aware during our "rupture"

I am aware that you have given me permission to.

However I get to the point of significant distress when I'm near certain that you've missed my tag and the internal conflict of tagging you again.

So give me a time. 60 minutes? 90 minutes?

Because the uncertainty isn't helping anything.

Hi @avant-garde

I really understand how difficult it can be to sit in that uncertainty. I mean I've got preoccupied attachment style it's like, our whole deal.

Realistically, I cannot give you this kind of time frame - because I simply cannot guarantee it. The last thing I would want is to make false promises. What I hope you can understand though is that I will always come around eventually. It might be 20 minutes, but it also might be the next day or the next week. When we ask members not to pressure others, including the staff, for a response, this is the expectation we are trying to set - no one is obliged to respond until they are ready.

I typically DO respond on the day because I type fast and I love chatting to everyone. But I don't want that to be the expectation. It's why I might just deliver a bunch of 'supports' on days when I have other things to do.

Because that is the reality - most days I can chat to everyone, all night. Some days, I have other work to do. Other days, like last night, things happen on the forums that require my attention. Then I come back and find myself with 20 notifications... whilst I adore that so many folks want to chat to me, it can become a little overwhelming trying to catch up.

I cannot be everywhere at once unfortunately. I do always try to get to everyone... but this is why I say you're welcome to tag me as much as you like, as I do occasionally miss notifications - so long as you're aware that I can only get to it when I get to it, and that a lack of response is never personal. And that it won't be a lack for long - I always pop by again eventually 💜

I am a very anxiously attached girly, so I complete get it too. Sitting with discomfort and the unknown can be really hard!

Please know that your vulnerability is perfectly understandable here. @avant-garde

Like @Jynx said, it can become really busy and when this happens, we endeavour to split our attention as best as possible so that everyone receives some support, but it's never personal if we don't get to you as soon as we would like - we love you all equally and want to be there as much as can be. ☺️💛

That's exactly what I needed @AuntGlow

I'm so tired of having to try

I hear you @avant-garde 💛

And please know that Jynx is so happy to be there for you when they can be.

When you say you are tired of having to try, what does that look like for you?