Running

@avant-garde not even for a moment 😊

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@Jynx wrote:

How is it feeling to be chatting to me now? It's okay if you still feel some barriers, or hesitations. These things take time, but I have all the time in the world for the process to take as long as it needs to 😊

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@Jynx

I'm still feeling quite vulnerable, but the fact that I kept responding while feeling this way means the fear has dissipated.

I'm still apprehensive over anything *actiony*. You may have noticed my considerable reduction in that kind of language on here. It confuses the boundaries on here for me.

But enough talking about that for today I think

I think I know what you mean @avant-garde - but yes we can put a pin in it for now. No rushing these things. It is very reassuring to hear that though, that you feel the fear has largely dissipated. It means a lot to me that you are willing to sit in that discomfort 🤞😊

@Jynx

Do you want to hear about the clever genius that I am? I don't think I've told you about the baby blanket I've orchestrated...

By all means @avant-garde 😁 Oooh 'orchestrated' and everything, how intriguing!

@Jynx

So my "little sister" recently became an aunt.

My little sisters mum is friends with a friend of mine from craft group.

Our friend from craft group has knitted the baby a blanket at my request.

My little sisters mum is flying over on Tuesday.

I would normally be over their place on a Tuesday.

I used the flight as an excuse to go over Monday instead, to "lessen the stress".

My little sister suggested we go to the movies.

My little sister also is the one with my cat.

I use my cat as an excuse to not go to the movies.

When actually it's to surprise her mum with the baby blanket before she leaves the next day.

I picked the wool and our mutual friend knitted it.

So yes, orchestrated.

@avant-garde you are very sneaky!! I'm glad you're using your powers of orchestration for Good 😋 That's so wholesome, and very meaningful!! I love seeing people's faces light up when we surprise them hey!

@Jynx

My little sisters mum isn't great with surprises! She doesn't like the unexpected...

I'm just really hoping she doesn't snap at me...

Hehe @avant-garde well maybe she just doesn't like scary surprises, a la surprise parties or having someone jump out of a cupboard and shouting BOO - but being gently handed a surprising gift might be different? We can only hope!! 🤞

I am off for the night! Thank you for the chats, for your honesty and openness, and I hope you have a restful evening hun. Til next time 😊💜

I was brave and vulnerable and crying in a McDonald's as I asked my friend if she would make a baby blanket for all the children I've lost, in a rainbow of colours.

She said yes.