Running

Hey @avant-garde, sounds like you have been through a lot as a child, and it's totally understandable that you would want these questions answered. Have you reached out to the Blue Knot Foundation? I know they are the best people to support you and want to think that you are getting the support you deserve. RiverSeal ❤️

@RiverSeal

I am aware of Blue Knot and have called them on multiple occasions for years now. Their hours are quite limited though and you typically need to call before 3:30 to get through and have the time to talk about what you need to.

@avant-garde seems you're working through some difficult thoughts and memories hun. Want you to know we see and hear you. It can feel extremely destabilising hey - my psych calls it re-lensing, i.e. having to go back and look at your life through a whole new lens.

TY for sharing the journey with us, I hope it feels like you're in safe hands 😊💜

@Jynx

You'd be right. I needed to hear that.

@avant-garde I can feel how painful this has been for you to not only experience, but process and sit with throughout the years. None of what happened to you was right or fair. And I think I have said this before, but I want to say it again: You deserved to feel safe and protected by the adults around you. And I am so sorry you weren't. I wish there was something more I could do, but please know I am always here to listen. I know it's been a couple of hours, so I am wondering how things are feeling for you now? 💛

@AuntGlow

I had church and then got distracted with creative pursuits

Ooh, would love to hear more about what your creative pursuits looked like? 🥰 @avant-garde

@AuntGlow

I have a lot of creative pursuits and am finding it difficult to remember last night's...

Today though I made cute little baskets for my friend to fundraise with.

I picked up 3 palm sized baskets and only wanted the wire one so I had these little soap flowers and a spare handkerchief and made them look pretty for my friend to sell.

Then I finished making rubbish bag rope to tie the minion plushie to my brother's letterbox today.

5 things I can see

1. My dreamy plushie held tightly against my chest
2. My blue starry sheets
3. My Ariel cushion under my head
4. My blue fluffy snuggle cushion against the wall
5. The sleeve of my sleep jumper that I'm wearing

4 things I can feel

1. My blue sleeping bag behind me
2. Yoga block under my right foot
3. The rough skin on my heel
4. The smooth edge of my tablet cover

3 things I can hear

1. The birds outside my window
2. The radio I have on
3. The ticking of my clock

2 things I can smell

1. The rose geranium in my roll on essential oils
2. The washing detergent on my clean clothes

1 thing I can taste

1. The salt rinse I just did

I already knew then that I was/am triggered and so typical me thought of others in more vulnerable states and so clicked it and flagged it for a trigger warning, the damage for me was already done.

Still shaking, still not ok.

I'm really glad that you're taking steps to ground yourself after this @avant-garde

I can understand why this post and this topic has been triggering. We are aware that many topics of conversation on here can triggering to members and while we try to mitigate this through our guidelines, it can still happen, so I'm really glad that you've been aware of your response and able to start taking steps to care for yourself.

How are you feeling now? Are you still feeling shaken?

I'm here with you